Jonathan Papelbon Compares Trash To Garbage

Posted: March 8, 2012 by Keith Stone in baseball, MLB
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

New Phillies closer and still douchebag Jonathan Papelbon went on the radio in Philadelphia today to talk about the transition to his new team from the Red Sox. Papelbon described Philly fans by saying they “tend to know the game a little better” although Boston was “a bit more hysterical.” Talk about a low blow for Boston. Saying that Philly is smarter than you is like telling a chick Snooki is cuter than her.

Really, though, are Philly and Boston fans really that much different? The Phanactics are a bunch of degenerates, and the Beaneaters are a bunch of toolish frontrunners. It’s the equivalent of picking the smartest kid in the Special Olympics or Matthew McConaughey’s best movie.

My favorite subplot in all of this is yet another former Red Sox taking a shit on the team after leaving. Wasn’t Pap Smear supposed to be the ultimate Red Sox? Brash, confident, asshole. Then, the Sox make an underwhelming contract offer and he can’t wait to spew venom. What a class act. He’s going to be a perfect fit in Philadelphia.

However, it’s becoming more and more clear that nobody likes playing in Boston. It’s going to take a lot more than throwing money around, banning beer, or bringing in a clown as manager to fix the problem. In baseball, chemistry shouldn’t matter but it does. Say what you want about Joe Girardi’s antics from the motivational quotes to the team improv outing but at least he’s working to get his players to like each other. That goes a long way during the dog days and is a hell of a lot better than fried chicken.

ESPN

About these ads
Comments
  1. Fat Al says:

    Papelbon is such a douchebag. You can change the laundry, but you can’t change the the guy.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s