Jabroni of the Week: Rick Santorum

Posted: March 18, 2012 by Keith Stone in jabronis, politics as usual
Tags: , , ,

I get it. Rick Santorum is super religious. He doesn’t think chicks should get abortions, much less be on the pill. If it was up to him, we’d probably all be going to church everyday. But for the life of me, I can’t figure out how Santorum is still Mitt Romney’s main competition, especially after ridiculous comments like his most recent pronouncement. Rick Santorum wants to ban porn.

Porn is great. Like anything that is awesome, people are going to abuse it. Doesn’t matter whether it’s coffee, cocaine, or shopping. I’m sure there are people out there that have become so addicted to porn that they are out of touch with reality and their lives are ruined. It doesn’t mean we need to ban a good thing because a few people can’t handle it. Ever hear of Prohibition? If President Santorum bans porn, things would be worse than Prohibition. There are legit health and lifestyle risks from consuming alcohol. What’s going to happen if you jack it 5-10 minutes a day? I’d even argue that porn has reduced premarital sex and pregnancies. A horny guy is way more likely get it in if he can’t watch Jenna Haze and Alexis Amore get it on to release a little pressure.

Ricky, baby, I’m not sure if you know this but the economy isn’t doing so hot. Millions of competent Americans workers are out of jobs. Ordinary people are struggling to pay for mortgages, healthcare, and college. There’s also the ongoing threat of terrorism and international conflicts in the Middle East and North Korea. As a voter, I’m a little more interested to know how you’re going to handle those situations.

While most of us aren’t perfect, there’s no reason to uphold a strict moral code in America when banks are still trying to bleed their customers dry and maniacs would stop at nothing to take out a nuclear plant or national landmark. This is why I don’t like politics. A clown who rambles on about religious nonsense is still somehow a viable candidate. Only in America (and Iran). Good luck with the rest of your “campaign,” Ricky. Word is Obama loves Asian porn. Until then, you’re a jabroni, brother.

CNN

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