Posts Tagged ‘football’


“Sometimes a winner is a dreamer who just won’t quit.”

Who better to take us into the Golden Domes vs. mobile homes matchup in the BCS National Championship Game tonight than Rudy Ruettiger? Poor Rudy was too small and didn’t have the grades to play at Notre Dame, they said. But, golly gee, he worked hard and said his prayers and he made it. So basically Rudy is the exact opposite of every player who’s going to see action tonight.

These two teams might actually represent the worst of college football’s programs and fanbases. One the one hand, there’s Mr. Popped Collar Notre Dame. “Excuse me, we don’t need to play in a conference with other teams. How could any team be listed in the same standings as a fine Catholic institution such as Notre Dame? Our alumni and hangers-on are so crazed with goodness and reverence that they will gladly spend all the cash they made in the market to help our team win. Also, the past 20 years never happened. WE ARE BETTER THAN YOU.”

Then, on the other hand, there’s a lot of missing teeth. “Yeeeeeeeeeeeehaw, we gon drink Natty Lights and play cornhole all day. I just gotta make sure not to pass out before the big game. Y’all think Rudy is a classy feller? Well, Coach Saban is such a classy feller, I named my first born son after him. Daggone right, and when little Coach Saban Billy Bob Schrader turns 18 or learns how to read, he’s gon go to the University of Alerbama. Coach Saban will definitely still be coaching the team then! Now where did my cousin, I mean, wife go? Roll Tide!”

If there was a douchebag fan scale, these teams wouldn’t be on the scale, they would be the scale. But yeah, Saban is a dick, so there’s only three words to say tonight: RUDY! RUDY! RUDY!

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Six-Pack Challenge Recap

Posted: December 31, 2012 by Keith Stone in football, NFL
Tags: , , ,

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It’s all over folks! The 2012 NFL regular season, as quickly as it came in, is done, and with it the Six-Pack Challenge. And the final results are…

Stone: 59-43 (57.8%)
DP Animal: 54-48 (52.9%)
Rory: 54-48 (52.9%)
DRK: 51-51 (50.0%)
Phanatic: 51-51 (50.0%)
Slumdeezy: 50-52 (49.0%)

That’s right! For the second year in a row, Mr. Stone is your picks king. Albeit with a smaller sample size than 2011, my picks were actually more accurate than last year. Checking the competition, DP and Rory did a decent job and made it out a little ahead, DRK and Phanatic have the predictive capability of a flipped coin or baboon, while unfortunately for Slumdeezy, he was actually forced to sell his shoes to pay off his gambling losses. Not that walking around shoeless in casinos is all that bad. Just remember, if you lost all your money in the regular season, you can simply double down for the playoffs. There’s no way it can go wrong!

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There’s nothing worse than having your team’s playoff hopes pinned to another team. Or if you’re a Giants fan, three teams. At the end of the season, there’s no telling what type of performance you’re going to get from a team ready to head South for the winter. Sure, the Lions are going to bring it if it’s WEEK 5, but if Matt Stafford strains his ever-so-tender throwing shoulder against the Bears, he’s going to be out of there faster than a Taylor Kitsch flick after its opening weekend. There are no rules for homebound teams in WEEK 17. Some teams or even individual players may be playing or not playing for different reasons, like pride, free agency, rivalries, or a favorite coach.

It’s like meeting chicks in Las Vegas. When you’re at home, you get the standard variety. There are sweethearts, bitches, prudes, skanks. In Vegas, all bets are off. Good girls turn into Alexis Texas, boyfriends get cheated on, excessive tequila shots are consumed, and false identities are used, but a select few ladies remain true and loyal. Really, when you’re not going to be around in a few days, what’s the point of being on your best behavior? It’s time to get fucked up and freaky. Right, ladies?

So what are we going to see with teams like the Lions, Rams, Cardinals, and Eagles possibly playing huge roles in determining the playoff picture and their Vegas vacations ending soon? In a perfect world, they’d all be playing hard, but you know most of them will end up in a bathroom stall vomiting their brains out while some guy named Julio is snorting coke off their ass, or at least the football equivalent of that. Here’s hoping Eli doesn’t end up with puke on his cleats. Time for some picks…

TEXANS (-7.5) AT COLTS
Stone: Colts
Chuck is strong.

Slumdeezy: Colts
The Giants have their hopes in the hands of one rookie QB this weeks, so I’ll have mine in two.

DRK: Colts

Rory: Texans

DP Animal: Texans

Phanatic: Texans
The Colts have nothing to play for.

RAVENS AT BENGALS (-3.5)
Stone: Bengals
Don’t count out the Bengals in the AFC Playoffs.

Slumdeezy: Bengals

DRK: Ravens

Rory: Bengals

DP Animal: Bengals
Neither team has much to play for, but I think the Ravens would rather stay the 4th seed (and play Indy).

Phanatic: Ravens

EAGLES AT GIANTS (-7.5)
Stone: Eagles
Man, you never know what you’re going to expect from the Champs.

Slumdeezy: Giants
Just my sentimental choice. ELI! One more time this season.

DRK: Eagles

Rory: Eagles

DP Animal: Eagles

Phanatic: Giants
It’s hard to not take them, one last hurrah before missing the playoffs. Smells like a blowout.

BEARS (-3.5) AT LIONS
Stone: Lions
Please, pretty please let the Lions win.

Slumdeezy: Lions
For Fro- I mean ELI!

DRK: Lions

Rory: Bears

DP Animal: Lions

Phanatic: Bears

PACKERS (-3.5) AT VIKINGS
Stone: Packers
The Pack won’t let a bye get away from them, will they?

Slumdeezy: Packers
For ELI!

DRK: Vikings

Rory: Vikings

DP Animal: Packers
AP won’t get the rushing record either.

Phanatic: Vikings
To cover at least.

COWBOYS AT REDSKINS (-3.5)
Stone: Redskins
Hey, at least one of these teams will likely have a heartbreaking loss.

Slumdeezy: Redskins
Let’s see what this RG3 kid is made of.

DRK: Cowboys

Rory: Redskins

DP Animal: Redskins
Well, at least there’s one meaningful game this weekend.

Phanatic: Redskins
The Cowboys will be eliminated on the last day of the season, again.

CURRENT RECORDS
Stone: 55-41 (Last week: 3-3)
DP Animal: 51-45 (3-3)
Rory: 51-45 (3-3)
DRK: 48-48 (5-1)
Phanatic: 48-48 (5-1)
Slumdeezy: 45-51 (1-5)

Last week’s picks

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The best thing about watching games on Sundays is the nonstop orgy of football action. Like any good orgy, the action should be evenly paced. You don’t want to spend the first half getting serviced by some banging ladies and then spend the end in the corner getting your rocks off with a fat chick named Bertha. That’s why it infuriates me that the NFL only has three games scheduled at 4PM this week. To start off, 11 games is way too many to watch at 1. Unless you’re at the greatest Buffalo Wild Wings of all-time, there’s no practical way to keep tabs on the statuses of every early game. Sure, the Raiders-Panthers game isn’t exactly Favre vs. Elway in Super Bowl XXXII but I bet there are some Jets fans that need to watch as much football as possible to get the stench of ass off their face.

Two of our 4PM games feature the Cardinals and the Browns, respectively. Not exactly compelling TV. So then we’re left with our Bertha: Giants-Ravens. Should be a good game but maybe it’s not. Then what? Do you expect me to talk to my friends and loved ones? I know we’re getting close to Christmas but nobody needs to get home early from these games on Christmas Eve Eve and Grandma’s two days away from getting mad at you for not showing her enough attention.

I don’t see a good reason for this schedule. Maybe the Giants-Ravens rating will be higher and the NFL and their TV partners can charge more for commercials. It’s not worth it to shortchange the viewer. With tons of games with playoffs implications, let’s spread it around. The games are awesome because they’re played at around the same time as each other, not all at the same time. And while we’re at it, feel free to spread the orgy to Saturday. You’re telling me two full days of important football games wouldn’t be the best Christmas present the NFL can give? Well then, I don’t believe in Tebow Claus. Let’s make some picks…

BENGALS AT STEELERS (-3.5)
Stone: Bengals

Slumdeezy: Steelers

DRK: Bengals

Rory: Bengals
I’m taking over!  Let’s go!

DP Animal: Steelers
For a variety of reasons, I’d love to see the Bengals win and vanquish Pittsburgh, but I don’t know if they’re ready to go into Heinz Field and win.

Phanatic: Bengals
Both teams are fighting for a playoff spot, but the Bengals are just better.

SAINTS AT COWBOYS (-2.5)
Stone: Saints
The collapse will come sooner or later.

Slumdeezy: Saints
As an increasingly desperate Giants fan this might just be wishful thinking.

DRK: Saints

Rory: Cowboys

DP Animal: Saints
Can’t wait for the cutaways to Jerry Jones’ luxury box as this is happening.

Phanatic: Saints
Let’s start to separate out the NFC East tie.

REDSKINS (-6.5) AT EAGLES
Stone: Redskins
And to think, they were left for dead a few weeks ago.

Slumdeezy: Eagles
Wishful thinking again, but unfortunately I still have the Skins winning this one.

DRK: Eagles

Rory: Redskins
Boy, the NFC East turned into a giant clusterfuck. It is going to be decided Week 17.

DP Animal: Eagles
Can’t wait for the cutaways to Daniel Synder’s luxury box as this is happening.

Phanatic: Redskins
I hate myself.

VIKINGS AT TEXANS (-7.5)
Stone: Texans
If they lose this one, I’d be very concerned about the Texans’ chances in the playoffs.

Slumdeezy: Texans

DRK: Vikings

Rory: Texans
Here’s hoping Adrian Peterson carries me to my fantasy football championship this weekend!

DP Animal: Texans

Phanatic: Vikings
They’ll cover with AP going after the record.

GIANTS (-2.5) AT RAVENS
Stone: Giants
Which team is the smaller mess?

Slumdeezy: Giants
Wish number 3. Call me Aladdin.

DRK: Ravens

Rory: Giants
Giants always get it up for the big games.

DP Animal: Ravens
Home dogs? Against a team that just lost 34-0?

Phanatic: Giants

49ERS (-1.5) AT SEAHAWKS
Stone: 49ers
Going to be an awesome atmosphere.

Slumdeezy: 49ers

DRK: Seahawks

Rory: Seahawks
Seattle at home with points against a team that’s already clinched a playoff spot? Sure!

DP Animal: Seahawks
I’m rather excited for this game.

Phanatic: Seahawks

CURRENT RECORDS
Stone: 52-38 (Last week: 3-3)
DP Animal: 48-42 (2-4)
Rory: 48-42 (5-1)
Slumdeezy: 44-46 (2-4)
DRK: 43-47 (2-4)
Phanatic: 43-47 (3-3)

Last week’s picks

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My favorite game of the season is always the sketchy Bills home game at the Rogers Centre (nee SkyDome) in Toronto. It always seems to be relatively meaningless, but this year there’s actually a lot on the line. How lucky is it that the Seahawks, a team in the middle of a playoff chase, get to play in a dome instead of out in the bitter cold of Buffalo? Not only that but do the good people of Toronto actually like the Bills? They also just hosted the Grey Cup. I’m not sure that they’re going to be able to get it up so soon afterwards.

I asked my friend Naitch, who’s from Toronto, about the game. He said, “It’ll be a high-scoring shootout. If there were ever two teams to play at the Dome, it makes perfect sense, it’s Buffalo and Seattle.” More importantly, Naitch commented that the sketchiness factor will be “off the charts” and that Psy is performing at halftime. Not bad for a WEEK 15 game, but not as good as the time Alan Thicke christened the place or when William Hung sang “Take Me Out To the Ballgame” during a Jays game. Either way, it’s like Vince Lombardi used to say, “Nothing beats football played in front of ambivalent fans with a South Korean pop sensation performing at halftime.” The only thing that could make it better is if there were rouges. Picks time…

PACKERS (-3.5) AT BEARS
Stone: Packers
The Bears secretly haven’t done much this year.

Slumdeezy: Bears

DRK: Bears

Rory: Packers

DP Animal: Bears
Green Bay’s play remains inconsistent, and I can’t help feeling that the NFC North still has one or two more twists left in it.

Phanatic: Packers
The Packers are hot, the bears are not. Yes I made that rhyme I’m on 4 hours of sleep right now.

GIANTS AT FALCONS (-1.5)
Stone: Giants
Don’t pick against the Champs when people start counting them out.

Slumdeezy: Giants

DRK: Giants

Rory: Falcons

DP Animal: Giants
With the way Matt Ryan has been struggling recently, what exactly does Atlanta do well?

Phanatic: Falcons

VIKINGS AT RAMS (-3.5)
Stone: Vikings
Who thought this game would be so important?

Slumdeezy: Vikings

DRK: Vikings

Rory: Vikings

DP Animal: Rams
Neither team can move the ball much, so I’ll take the home team.

Phanatic: Vikings

BRONCOS (-3.5) AT RAVENS
Stone: Broncos
As a Giants fan, I just want to thank the Ravens for closing out Kirk Cousins and the Skins last week.

Slumdeezy: Ravens

DRK: Ravens

Rory: Broncos

DP Animal: Broncos

Phanatic: Ravens
Denver is coasting with the division locked up.

COLTS AT TEXANS (-8.5)
Stone: Colts
Will Chuck Pagano be at the game?

Slumdeezy: Colts

DRK: Colts

Rory: Texans

DP Animal: Texans
Yes, the Texans were bad in New England, but the Colts’ 9-4 record is built on the back of the kind of easy schedule you get the year after a 2-14 season.

Phanatic: Colts
Seems like the wrong spread after this past week.

49ERS AT PATRIOTS (-5.5)
Stone: Patriots
I have Tom Brady on my fantasy team.

Slumdeezy: 49ers

DRK: 49ers

Rory: Patriots

DP Animal: Patriots
Should be an interesting game, to say the least.

Phanatic: Patriots

CURRENT RECORDS
Stone: 49-35 (Last week: 3-3)
DP Animal: 46-38 (5-1)
Rory: 43-41 (4-2)
Slumdeezy: 42-42 (3-3)
DRK: 41-43 (4-1)
Phanatic: 40-44 (3-3)

Last week’s picks

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Last week, I needed an Eagles cover against the Cowboys in the Sunday night game to win the weekly picks league I’m in with some friends. Although they kept the game close, Philly’s backups were gagging the game up in the 4th quarter. After the Iggs gave up a 50-yard fumble return TD, they were down 11 and looked dead to rights. But then, my hero Damaris Johnson ran back a punt for a score out of NOWHERE to put $150 in my wallet.

Did I deserve to win? Of course not, but you better fucking believe I loved it. In the context of the game, the punt return was a fairly independent play representative of nothing that had happened previous and it won me money. It put the Eagles in a better spot to win the game too but their only chance to get the win was an onsides kick and that failed. There is so much randomness and luck involved in all of this, it’s not even a joke. I know I’m not exactly breaking new ground here but don’t take the results of your picks too seriously. Unless you took Philly. Then, you’re a genius like me. Now enjoy these picks while I go spend my hard-earned winnings…

RAVENS AT REDSKINS (-2.5)
Stone: Ravens
The Skins have more gimmicks than Carrot Top.

Slumdeezy: Ravens

DRK: Redskins
Keith has done questionable things to a Raven whilst running on South Beach.

Rory: Redskins
Too many injuries for the Ravens, and you got to love the Redskins after last week.

DP Animal: Redskins

Phanatic: Redskins
This is a tough one. It’s sink or swim for RG3 after the performance against the Giants.

JETS (-2.5) AT JAGUARS
Stone: Jets
But seriously, if Revis didn’t get injured the Jets would be on the brink of the playoffs. Yes, the AFC is that bad.

Slumdeezy: Jets

DRK: Jaguars

Rory: Jets
The Jets tragedy will continue as they’ll finish 9-7 and not be able to justify firing anybody.

DP Animal: Jaguars
Can’t take the Jets on the road, giving points.

Phanatic: Jaguars
If only because they’re letting Sanchez back in there. The Jets are lucky it’s an away game. They are in a sad state if affairs.

COWBOYS AT BENGALS (-3.5)
Stone: Bengals
Where did the Bengals come from!?!?!?

Slumdeezy: Bengals

DRK: Cowboys

Rory: Bengals
I like the Bengals – I think they have a decent shot at the playoffs.

DP Animal: Bengals
The better team, at home.

Phanatic: Cowboys
It’s not time for them to choke yet.

SAINTS AT GIANTS (-4.5)
Stone: Saints
Don’t worry. I still got the Champs winning.

Slumdeezy: Giants
Figures to be a shootout. Not sure I got the right side of this but I expect a big margin of victory for whoever wins.

DRK: Giants

Rory: Giants
This is a must win.  I will be sorely disappointed if the Giants blow this game.

DP Animal: Giants
The NFC playoffs are going to be fascinating.

Phanatic: Saints

LIONS AT PACKERS (-6.5)
Stone: Packers

Slumdeezy: Packers
Cars are to insurance as Detroit is to Discount Double Check.

DRK: Packers
Matt Stafford is a bad actor,  but Aaron Rodgers strikes me as a bit of a dickbag sometimes (get over the height thing, guy).

Rory: Packers
I feel this line should be double digits – the Lions stink.

DP Animal: Packers
I wonder if Jim Schwartz will keep his job.

Phanatic: Packers

TEXANS AT PATRIOTS (-3.5)
Stone: Patriots

Slumdeezy: Texans
A Monday night game that will actually be awesome? Awesome.

DRK: Texans
Fuck you, Tom Brady.

Rory: Texans
I’ve picked all favorites, might as well pick an underdog, even if it is the best team in the league.

DP Animal: Patriots
The injuries in the Houston secondary will equal out the injuries to the Patriots receivers.

Phanatic: Patriots
Going with the home field on this one.

CURRENT RECORDS
Stone: 46-32 (Last week: 3-3)
DP Animal: 41-37 (3-3)
Rory: 39-39 (1-5)
Slumdeezy: 39-39 (1-5)
Phanatic: 37-41 (2-4)
DRK: 37-41 (4-2)

Last week’s picks

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There’s been a lot of talk recently about all the Adderall suspensions in the NFL, and whether they’re even for Adderall. However, there’s another performance enhancer that we should be taking a HARD look at. This week, Brandon Marshall discussed the fact that he’s heard that some football players take Viagra to gain an edge. Despite the fact that it sounds fucking hilarious, high-altitude climbers have found benefits in taking Viagra and Roger Clemens was rumored to have taken many a blue pill during his later career. Doctors are skeptical that it’ll have any impact on the gridiron, but players will do anything to get a leg up.

I’d like to see if Viagra would work in the NFL, so here’s my idea. The Jets are always looking to get attention. Let’s dose all their Gatorade with a little Viagra. Best case, they turn into a somewhat competent squad. Worse case, the entire team runs around with huge boners for 60 minutes and the Post sets a record for most papers sold. The ladies will love it. I don’t see what could go wrong unless Mark Sanchez runs into his lineman’s ass again. Then all bets are off. Speaking of bets…

SEAHAWKS AT BEARS (-4.5)
Stone: Bears
I’m still holding my breath on a Giants-Bears Wild Card matchup.

Slumdeezy: Bears

DRK: Bears

Rory: Bears

DP Animal: Bears
The Seahawks have played an insanely difficult schedule so far. It gets a bit easier after this game, but it might be too late.

Phanatic: Bears
Going with the home-field major advantage in this one.

VIKINGS AT PACKERS (-8.5)
Stone: Packers
Not in Lambeau.

Slumdeezy: Vikings
Too wide a spread for this rivalry.

DRK: Packers

Rory: Vikings
Let’s give it up for those fantastic Wisconsinites! They sure have amazing taunts!

DP Animal: Packers
I have no idea what to think about this Packers team, but I do know they’re better than the Vikings.

Phanatic: Packers

COLTS AT LIONS (-5.5)
Stone: Colts
The Horseshoe needs this one more.

Slumdeezy: Colts

DRK: Colts

Rory: Colts
I don’t believe in the Lions at all.

DP Animal: Colts
I get the whole “Chuckstrong” thing, but this Colts team is almost entirely a product of a soft schedule.

Phanatic: Colts
My most favorite team at the moment.

PATRIOTS (-9.5) AT DOLPHINS
Stone: Dolphins
The Pats always struggle in Miami. I’m calling a shootout.

Slumdeezy: Patriots

DRK: Patriots

Rory: Patriots
I’m predicting a Patriots bloodbath. Bravery!

DP Animal: Patriots
It’s a lot of points to lay on the road, but I don’t see the Fins winning.

Phanatic: Patriots

BUCCANEERS AT BRONCOS (-7.5)
Stone: Buccaneers
The Bucs aren’t going to be under-the-radar for much longer.

Slumdeezy: Buccaneers

DRK: Broncos

Rory: Buccaneers
Hang tough, gentle Bucs!

DP Animal: Buccaneers

Phanatic: Broncos

GIANTS (-3.5) AT REDSKINS
Stone: Giants
The Gmen will be ready for RG3 the second time around.

Slumdeezy: Giants

DRK: Redskins

Rory: Giants
I can’t get a handle on Giants games.  I might be worse at picking them than I am at picking Cardinals games.

DP Animal: Redskins

Phanatic: Giants
They’re on their typical end of season run and no one is going to stop them now.

CURRENT RECORDS
Stone: 43-29 (Last week: 5-1)
Rory: 38-34 (3-3)
DP Animal: 38-34 (4-2)
Slumdeezy: 38-34 (4-2)
Phanatic: 35-37 (3-3)
DRK: 33-39 (3-3)

Last week’s picks

I don’t know whether it’s increasing parity, the loss of home-field advantage, or just the end of the world, but I really don’t have a grip on this season at all, highlighted by my awful Pats-Colts pick last week. I can’t imagine that anybody does. How many teams have we seen look like they have things figured out only to fuck it up at some point? I can think of the Cardinals, Giants, Bears, Ravens, Chargers, and Steelers right off the top of my head. And it’s not like traditionally strong teams like the Patriots and Packers have been world beaters either. The Texans and Falcons have the best records but have hardly been impressive.

There’s about 10 teams that could legitimately make the Super Bowl. In WEEK 12, that’s crazy and it doesn’t bode well when trying to make picks. So instead of trying to find a rhyme or reason for anything, I looked at the matchups and picked the first team that came into my head. That’s right. These picks were made with pure instinct. It’s how the cavemen survived and it’s how I hopefully hold off the suddenly creeping competitors of the Six-Pack Challenge. It’s time to go back to basics…

BILLS AT COLTS (-3.5)
Stone: Colts
Who would have thought that this game would have huge playoff implications?

Slumdeezy: Colts

DRK: Colts

Rory: Colts
I’m still a believer in Luck, even after that epic beatdown.

DP Animal: Colts

Phanatic: Colts

FALCONS (-1.5) AT BUCCANEERS
Stone: Falcons
The Falcons have to be the weakest 9-1 team in history.

Slumdeezy: Buccaneers

DRK: Falcons

Rory: Buccaneers

DP Animal: Falcons
I expect the offense to get back on track, if for no other reason than that Matt Ryan can’t keep throwing five interceptions a game.

Phanatic: Falcons
I’m surprised this line isn’t larger.

SEAHAWKS (-3.5) AT DOLPHINS
Stone: Dolphins
Let me know when the Hawks are back in Seattle.

Slumdeezy: Seahawks

DRK: Seahawks

Rory: Seahawks

DP Animal: Seahawks
This is the kind of game that will give us Seahawks fans a sense for just how good this team is. Normally, Seattle is terrible in early games on the East Coast, and the Dolphins are just good enough that they could cause problems. That said, this is the best Seahawks team since 2005, and what the hell, I believe!

Phanatic: Dolphins

RAVENS (-1.5) AT CHARGERS
Stone: Ravens
These two teams have a lot to prove.

Slumdeezy: Ravens

DRK: Ravens

Rory: Ravens
Seriously?  Chargers suck.

DP Animal: Ravens
I’ll take my chances against Norval.

Phanatic: Ravens

RAMS AT CARDINALS (-2.5)
Stone: Rams
Sorry, Rory’s girlfriend.

Slumdeezy: Cardinals

DRK: Cardinals

Rory: Cardinals
I swear, Keith keeps putting in Cardinals games to ruin my picks record.

DP Animal: Rams

Phanatic: Cardinals
Beanie Wells is the difference maker.

PACKERS AT GIANTS (-3.5)
Stone: Giants
Hopefully, the BYE week did the Champs a ton of good.

Slumdeezy: Giants

DRK: Giants

Rory: Packers
I think my Giants aren’t going to be happy this week.

DP Animal: Giants
As good as Aaron Rodgers is, his shaky offensive line and depleted wide receiver corps will let him down.

Phanatic: Packers
Gmen can’t keep up in a potential shootout.

CURRENT RECORDS
Stone: 38-28 (Last week: 3-3)
Rory: 35-31 (4-2)
DP Animal: 34-32 (3-3)
Slumdeezy: 34-32 (5-1)
Phanatic: 32-34 (4-2)
DRK: 30-36 (4-2)

Last week’s picks


Every year there’s one. In 2011, it was the Broncos that rode the tide of fate, destiny, chemistry, and luck into the playoffs from nowhere. This season, it certainly seems like the Colts are doing the same. With Chuck Pagano recovering from leukemia and the team generally recently put together, a subpar season appeared to be on the horizon, but Indy has been impressive with wins over Green Bay and Miami. A future schedule that features Buffalo, Detroit, Tennessee, and Kansas City along with the AFC sucking has the Colts in prime position for the playoffs.

Beware: there are always bumps in the road for the Team of Destiny. Remember how the Pats manhandled Tebow last year? But dammit, if you watch Pagano’s locker room speech and don’t feel like running through a wall, you oughta take a hike. I’m a Giants fan and I’m rooting for the Colts. The Horseshoe isn’t gonna make it to the Super Bowl but I’ll take them Sunday. Indy 42, Pats 39. And now for the rest of our lovely picks…

EAGLES AT REDSKINS (-3.5)
Stone: Redskins
Growing pains for Nick Foles. Still better than a concussion.

Slumdeezy: Redskins

DRK: Redskins

Rory: Redskins
Come on Redskins. If this was the Giants, you’d beat them by 14. Cover this game.

DP Animal: Redskins

Phanatic: Eagles
This is the last time I pick them. This is the last time I pick them. Riding the folesmobile.

PACKERS (-3.5) AT LIONS
Stone: Packers
Seems like so long ago that the Lions were good.

Slumdeezy: Packers

DRK: Packers

Rory: Packers
Aren’t the Packers one of the best teams in the league?

DP Animal: Packers

Phanatic: Packers

BENGALS (-3.5) AT CHIEFS
Stone: Chiefs
If their home crowd doesn’t boo them too much. 

Slumdeezy: Bengals

DRK: Bengals

Rory: Bengals
Aren’t the Chiefs one of the worst teams in the league?

DP Animal: Bengals
Being a sports fan in Kansas City must make death seem like a good thing.

Phanatic: Bengals

COLTS AT PATRIOTS (-9.5)
Stone: Colts
Chuck Strong.

Slumdeezy: Patriots

DRK: Patriots

Rory: Colts
These teams can’t not never play a lousy game.

DP Animal: Colts
Just a hunch.

Phanatic: Colts
Cover and win! Yea I said it.

CHARGERS AT BRONCOS (-7.5)
Stone: Chargers
The Super Chargers always play well in Denver.

Slumdeezy: Broncos

DRK: Broncos

Rory: Broncos
Dream season for the Broncos will continue. Like the Ewing Theory, there should be something called the Tebow Theory, where a team automatically gets better once they get rid of a false idol.

DP Animal: Broncos

Phanatic: Chargers
At least a cover.

RAVENS (-3.5) AT STEELERS
Stone: Ravens
I’m sticking with my Ravens Super Bowl pick.

Slumdeezy: Steelers

DRK: Ravens

Rory: Steelers
I just feel this will be a close and ugly game.  Ravens may win, but with some weird score like 16-14.

DP Animal: Ravens
In the time it’s taken for me to think about, and then make this pick, Byron Leftwich has ALMOST completed his throwing motion.

Phanatic: Steelers

CURRENT RECORDS
Stone: 35-25 (Last week: 4-2)
DP Animal: 31-29 (3-3)
Rory: 31-29 (4-2)
Slumdeezy: 29-31 (1-5)
Phanatic: 28-32 (2-4)
DRK: 26-34 (3-3)

Last week’s picks

2012 Giants WEEK 10 – Bungled

Posted: November 12, 2012 by Keith Stone in football, NFL
Tags: , , , ,

Bengals 31, Giants 13

This was about as bad as a football game could get. Despite the score, the Bengals didn’t really do much. They didn’t have any extended drives or big plays other than the first A.J. Green touchdown. They were brutally efficient, however. Anytime they got the ball in Giants territory, they converted, and they got the ball in Giants territory way too much.

The Bradshaw fumble was an absolute killer. Up until that point, I still thought the Giants were in control. Then, Eli starts treating the ball like it’s a hot potato and the game is over. Not giving the ball up has been key to the Giants’ good start so it’s baffling why they would start doing it against an also-ran like Cincy. This is the first time all year that they really seemed like they were pressing and I hope it’s not because of what people are saying in the press.

Who knows what the “problem” with the Giants is? I think Eli’s struggles are overrated. The offensive line struggled a lot and didn’t give him much time. Perhaps Snee’s injury is a concern. The dropoff from Sean Locklear to David Diehl might also play a part. I love Diehl. He’s a Champion, but at a certain time, you have to move on. That’s something Coach Coughlin is going to have to think about during the BYE.

And can we please get some more Andre the Giant? He is killing it every time he gets the ball. I don’t think Bradshaw is toast but I really feel that the Giants are a better team when Brown gets a majority of the carries. Whether or not he blocks as well is another aspect, but this is another thing to analyze over the BYE. The Giants need a spark and he could be it.

As a Giants fan, you still can’t complain. Your team is in first place by a game-and-a-half and the rest of the teams in the division look like clowns. Still the last two games were so uncommon for what we’re used to. Or is it? Is this just the second-half swoon that the Giants always have for some bizarre unknown reason? Or is 10 games in a row without a bye for an injury-depleted team just too draining? These guys better get their rest on and a few reinforcements, like Kenny Phillips, back because the first game up is against Green Bay and they’re definitely gonna be in a bad mood.