>Jabroni of the Week: Jeffrey Klein

Posted: April 17, 2011 by Keith Stone in Four Loko, jabronis, Jeffrey Klein

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Jeffrey Klein is the state senator from the Bronx who’s sponsoring a bill that would ban Four Loko and similar drinks from being sold at delis. Four Loko already stopped using caffeine. Now it’s basically just a shitty alcoholic drink. And hey, you can always just mix some vodka with Red Bull. Klein argues that fruity alcoholic beverages encourage kids to drink. How does it encourage kids to drink more than a Bud Light commercial?

Jeff, baby, that’s funny and it had nothing to do with beer. I’d buy tampons if that’s what the commercial was selling. Speaking of which, beer is what kids are going to buy instead if you ban Four Loko. This state has so many problems. Selling Joose at Robin Raj should be the least of your worries. The subway is too expensive and it sucks. Fix that. The education system sucks. Fix that. Maybe if you did, there’d be less kids trying to get drunk and more studying for math tests. This isn’t Communist Sweden. As long as the bodega down the street isn’t selling crack rock to six-year-olds, stay out of its business. Until then, you’re a jabroni, brother.

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