>Rangers 2011 Postmortem

Posted: April 24, 2011 by Keith Stone in NHL, Rangers

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Capitals 3, Rangers 1
Capitals win series 4-1

The Rangers are like an ugly girl with huge tits. No matter how revolting she is, she’s always going to get attention from guys because of those boobies. Henrik Lundqvist is that set of double D’s.

It was Henrik that kept it all together. This playoff series showed what an outstanding goaltender he is. He stood on his head to keep the Rangers in every game. He’s the real difference with the Rangers pre- and post-lockout. Otherwise, they’re not even a playoff team. All-star. All-world. However you want to describe The King, it’s probably not enough.

The real shame of it all is that Henrik cares so damn much. When they pulled him today, you could feel the emotion in his eyes. He’s not going to be great forever so there’s no time to waste. When Jaromir Jagr was still around, scoring wasn’t the problem. Unfortunately, that’s still a void.

The Rangers have a nice young team, and hopefully its nucleus will develop into a force to be reckoned with. It’s a hard-working bunch of guys and you have to admire the fact that everyone is willing to take a hit or block a shot.

Ryan Callahan emerged as a true leader over the course of the season and losing him for the playoffs hurt a ton. Brandon Dubinsky, Marc Staal, Dan Girardi, Derek Stepan, Bryan Boyle, and Michael Sauer are all fine hockey players, but the Rangers scored eight goals over the five-game playoff series with the Capitals. It wasn’t only the playoffs; scoring was scarce all season, especially on the power play.

Marian Gaborik and Chris Drury both had injury-affected subpar years so the Rangers had to rely on their young guns. They did as best as could be expected but the team lacked an instinctual scorer, the guy that gets the puck and puts it in the goal by any means necessary. If anything, the team is too unselfish. It seemed like everyone was too concerned with setting up the next guy than doing anything himself. Being selfish is a good thing sometimes. The more the puck heads to net, the greater a chance it has to go in. It’s simple math. In other words, SHOOT THE PUCK!

Management should be commended for building through the draft instead of going for short-term fixes with trades and free agent signings. At the same time, the window of opportunity is so small. What is the right combination of youthful grittiness and veteran savvy that can get this team to the next level? Brad Richards is rumored to be on his way in. Blueshirt backers have grown frustrated with Drury and especially Gaborik but it may be to too early to give up on them.

Still, it’s better to have big tits than be an ugly flat-chested broad (like a certain team from Long Island). With a little plastic surgery over the summer, a touch-up here and there, and hopefully some natural improvement, the Rangers can go from ugly duckling to beautiful swan. King Henrik is far too good for the Rangers to remain in the middle of the pack in the Eastern Conference.

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