Jabroni of the Week: Anthony Weiner

Posted: June 5, 2011 by Keith Stone in Anthony Weiner, jabronis

New York Congressman Anthony Weiner got in trouble this week for sending a picture of his crotch to a college student. And his name is Weiner! Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I don’t get the dong shots. Especially if you’re a public figure. Like this chick is gonna be like, “Oh damn, look at that magnificent bulge. I need me some Weiner.” You know the first thing she did was show her friends and laugh. And then, when it doesn’t work out (and it never does), you know that pic is going to be all over the Internet.

You just can’t do the dong shots in modern times. I’m sure back in the day Joe DiMaggio handed out hundreds of photographs of his “bat.” How do you think he got Marilyn Monroe? Marilyn probably shared the pics with the girls around the studio and that was that. Not anymore.

Then to make things worse, Weiner went on TV and made about 30 double entrendres about his junk. It was as if he was Michael Scott. Still, he denied or confirmed nothing and said he hired a private investigator to investigate. It was the worst move possible. If you say it’s yours, you get some heat but it’ll ultimately die down. If you says it’s not yours, nobody can disprove you. That’s why I don’t understand. He should have just lied. Was this a picture with his creepy, smiling face cropped out? Is there really another unaltered photo out there? Deny till you die.

Tony, Tony, Tony, you should have known better. This probably won’t end up costing you your office, but I’m sure your wife doesn’t like it. The real key is to get chicks to send you pics of themselves. Sometimes they’ll make you send one first. Don’t take the bait. Honestly, you seem like a good guy, but this was real amateur hour stuff. I don’t want you representing New York after this stunt. It’s not so much that you did it, but the lame way you covered it up. You really couldn’t remember taking a shot of your dong? That’s the guy I want enacting important laws. How did you get so far in politics? Be a man and admit it or shut your mouth. Until then, you’re a jabroni, brother.

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