Alcohol-Fueled Lawsuits Are New Low To American Legal System

Posted: June 30, 2011 by Keith Stone in beer pong, Staten Island

Johnny Utah’s is being sued by a guy that fractured his leg while riding their mechanical bull even though everyone who rides the bull is forced to sign a waiver. He claims it started moving before he was on and is now “permanently disabled.” Look, it sucks that the guy hurt himself but if you’re hopping on a mechanical bull after a couple of drinks, you have to know what you’re getting into. ESPECIALLY IF YOU SIGNED A WAIVER! Unfortunately, this isn’t the only stupid booze-related lawsuit this week.

A few years ago, a clown suffered a broken ankle and nose after getting into a fight over a beer pong game in Staten Island (naturally). Now a judge is saying that he can sue the bar he was playing at because the single bartender that was there didn’t provide enough security. There are so many ridiculous lawsuits in this country, I’m surprised this hasn’t happened before. The point of beer pong is to have fun, get drunk, and meet chicks, but after playing for five minutes, I always fucking hate the other team. Why is the guy on the other team with the popped collar trying to distract me while I’m shooting? Stop pretending to dance to that Katy Perry song, bro. I know what you’re doing. Then, his partner has a 45-second routine every time he takes a shot. I don’t have all day, Karl Malone. Maybe every beer pong game should have a security guard at least in the mystical land of the guidos known as Staten Island.

When you go out and drink, shit happens. You just have to accept it. Don’t be a bitch and sue the bar. Alcohol is about getting drunk and chilling with your friends, like these kids. Make YouTube videos, not war. THAT’S A 50!



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s