Lawyers are whores, but here’s one who’s also a pimp. Anthony McCord recently had a little run-in with the law for robbing, beating, and raping two of his ho’s. You know, normal pimp stuff. While acting as his own lawyer for his criminal trial, McCord requested to take the stand and give expert testimony on his trade, a fairly standard procedure when it comes to crafts that jurors may not know a lot about. Unfortunately, the judge didn’t like the thought of a pimping expert taking the stand and McCord was found guilty (but innocent of rape!). He now faces at least 10 years behind bars.
I am furious at this miscarriage of justice. If construction experts are allowed to take the stand, why not a pimping expert? Pimping is more legitimate than construction! In his trial, McCord argued that he was acting within “code of conduct of pimps and ho’s” and was “certified by a quiet society of pimps.” That’s stuff you can only learn from a pimping expert.
There are so many questions left unanswered by McCord’s lack of testimony. Where exactly is this “quiet society of pimps?” If there’s one thing I know about pimps, it’s that they’re anything but quiet. Can you imagine all the pimp leaders meeting to discuss the appropriate time to beat their ho’s while Snoop Dogg keeps things in order by banging a jewel-encrusted gavel when things get out of hand? It’s times like this I wish i went to law school.
Rainman Suite 