Archive for the ‘law and order’ Category

Lawyering Ain’t Easy

Posted: December 4, 2011 by Keith Stone in law and order, pimping

Lawyers are whores, but here’s one who’s also a pimp. Anthony McCord recently had a little run-in with the law for robbing, beating, and raping two of his ho’s. You know, normal pimp stuff. While acting as his own lawyer for his criminal trial, McCord requested to take the stand and give expert testimony on his trade, a fairly standard procedure when it comes to crafts that jurors may not know a lot about. Unfortunately, the judge didn’t like the thought of a pimping expert taking the stand and McCord was found guilty (but innocent of rape!). He now faces at least 10 years behind bars.

I am furious at this miscarriage of justice. If construction experts are allowed to take the stand, why not a pimping expert? Pimping is more legitimate than construction! In his trial, McCord argued that he was acting within “code of conduct of pimps and ho’s” and was “certified by a quiet society of pimps.” That’s stuff you can only learn from a pimping expert.

There are so many questions left unanswered by McCord’s lack of testimony. Where exactly is this “quiet society of pimps?”  If there’s one thing I know about pimps, it’s that they’re anything but quiet. Can you imagine all the pimp leaders meeting to discuss the appropriate time to beat their ho’s while Snoop Dogg keeps things in order by banging a jewel-encrusted gavel when things get out of hand? It’s times like this I wish i went to law school.

NY Daily News

The Supreme Court has rejected a California law that would have banned kids from buying violent video games in a victory for freedom everywhere by a vote of 7-to-2. The Court cited free speech and consumer protection. I’ve been ripping hearts out and decapitating video game characters since I was 8. Me and Scorpion ran shit and I turned out OK. Sort of. Video games have ratings and kids have parents. If a kid can handle a mature video game, it’s fine. If the parents are idiots, then yeah the kid might be fucked up and end up going to Rutgers. Truth is, he’s going to be fucked up whether he’s playing violent video games or not. The kid might as well have a little fun. Last time I checked, California was a mess and the Supreme Court had more important things to think about than video games. Like the BCS. This isn’t communist Sweden. Let the kids have their video games! U!S!A! U!S!A!