Maybe I’m just bitter that the Heat beat the Knicks last night. Either way, this new story about Queen James is hilarious. Apparently, the Queen likes to have his food to be pre-cut when he orders it at restaurants, according to one of his favorite servers at XO Steakhouse in Cleveland. Even worse, it was revealed that he orders his steak well done. This story is corroborated by another server who claimed that the Queen ordered his spaghetti pre-cut.
I guess I understand the steak thing because I used to like it pre-cut when I was 7. I know the Queen didn’t have a normal childhood but somewhere between the million-dollar contracts and chilling with Warren Buffett, somebody probably should have taught him to cut his own food. Isn’t that what Dwyane Wade and Pat Riley are for? They probably promised to keep cutting his food for him so he’d move down to Miami. I just don’t get why he needs his spaghetti cut up. Half the fun is slurping it up into your mouth. I know it’s not classy but it’s still not as bad as asking somebody to cut it for you. I wonder what goes through a grown man’s head when he asks somebody to cut their food for him. Half the time I’m too embarrassed to ask for nachos without sour cream. Maybe I was wrong about LeBron. If he has the courage to ask a total stranger to cut his food, maybe he does have the courage to take a shot in the fourth quarter.
Rainman Suite 