Archive for the ‘Metta World Peace’ Category

World Peace Coming To England?

Posted: August 11, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, Metta World Peace, NBA, NBA lockout
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Metta World Peace, that is. World Peace is considering playing with the Cheshire Jets of the British Basketball League if the NBA lockout stretches into the regular season. According to the ULEB, the ruling body of European basketball, the BBL is ranked dead last amongst European leagues in terms of game play and media coverage amongst other important things. What better place to hone your skills and fitness than the worst basketball league in Europe?

There’s so much violence going on in England, it’s only fitting that the protagonist in the most public display of violence of the past 10 years would be heading there. World Peace is so crazy, he could probably stop the riots all by himself, and Britain will attain World Peace in more ways than one.

However since the Jets don’t have any money, they are offering World Peace a piece of ownership and will try to help his film and music career. They are currently trying to find him work on a British soap opera, where he will immediately be the most ridiculous black guy on TV in England since Ali G. And really, after hearing World Peace’s Michael Jackson tribute song who wouldn’t want a piece of his music career?

ESPN

Jabroni of the Week: Metta World Peace

Posted: June 26, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, jabronis, Metta World Peace, NBA
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Metta World Peace is a crazy motherfucker. Not only was he responsible for the biggest black eye in NBA history with the brawl in Detroit and his player profile on HoopsHype includes the line, “Goes very crazy very often,” but now he thinks he’s going to change the world. World Peace was originally going to go with Mr. One Love but obviously Metta World Peace would have a greater impact on the world. It didn’t work for World B. Free and it’s not going to work for World Peace.

Athletes need to learn their place in the world. There’s a select few that can change attitudes and trends around the world. Jordan was one of them. Not Metta World Peace. Sure, he won the Walter Kennedy Citizenship Award and there’s a lockout coming up. Peace on Earth is a nice goal, but maybe volunteering with some kids in South Central or Queensbridge would be a little easier considering that World Peace should be training after getting swept by Dallas in the playoffs. I can see Kim Jong Il getting ready to launch some nukes when all of a sudden he thinks about World Peace’s crazy 3-pointer in Game 7 of the 2010 NBA Finals and reconsiders. Actually, maybe World Peace would stop that psycho.

Metta, baby, I know your name means happiness and your intentions are pure, but I just don’t know how much of this craziness I can take. Every time I hear something new about you I think it’s fake. It’s not. You’re falling of the face of the world, the very world you are trying to save. You’ve come a long way since you were punching fat white trash in Detroit. It’s possible you went too far. Then again, at least you’re trying to help world peace, World Peace. Try giving Kim Jong Il a call. Until then, you’re a jabroni, brother.