Archive for the ‘NBA lockout’ Category

There’s no greater honor an athlete can receive in team sports than having his number retired. It represents doing something so special for the franchise that no other player could ever hope to duplicate it. Deron Williams needed 15 games to earn the achievement for Beşiktaş of the Turkish Basketball League, where he was playing during the NBA lockout. With the labor issue resolved, Williams was set to return to the Nets but his adopted team decided to give him one last over-the-top send-off after he averaged 21.8 points and 6.5 assists for them in the span of a few months.

If Brian Scalabrine ever wanted to get his number retired, he better head out to Turkey. Despite his limited credentials, Deron Williams isn’t the only player to have his jersey raised to the rafters by a team he didn’t exactly do much for. Michael Jordan had his #23 retired by the Miami Heat after averaging 0.0 points for them in 0 career games. Fan up, Miami!

After 149 days, the NBA players and owners have reached a tentative agreement to end the lockout. See you at the Garden on Christmas.

Coach Stone?

Posted: November 16, 2011 by Keith Stone in awesome, basketball, NBA lockout, strippers

Strippers are magnanimous. They’re always there to cheer you up, lend you an ear to talk to, or even help keep the sidewalks clean, but now this is just too much. These Mother Teresas of the pole are going to make us forget about the NBA lockout. The ladies of Rick’s are starting their own basketball league with 11 teams representing every city where Rick’s is based out of.

As a magnanimous individual myself, I want to offer my services to the New York squad in any way possible. It’s always been my dream to roam the sidelines like Jeff Van Gundy (with hair). Now obviously, I’m not as qualified a coaching candidate as Dennis Rodman or Stephen Jackson, but I have heart, dammit. Either that or towel boy. I would definitely be a great towel boy. Even cheering on the girls from the stands would be enough for me, as long as we beat Tootsie’s in Miami.

Total Pro Sports


Posted: November 15, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, NBA, NBA lockout

The NBA Players’ Union decertified yesterday after the players rejected the owners’ latest proposal. For real, check out their website. Now they’re taking the owners to court. For what? I don’t know. I don’t care. I just want to watch some basketball. David Stern described this situation as “nuclear winter.” Keith Stone described this situation as “eight cocks shoved up my ass.” Either way, it’s not good.

It doesn’t mean the 2011-2012 season won’t happen but now both sides have to prepare for litigation instead of working on a deal. Hopefully, this is a negotiating tactic because for the case to go through the court system, it would take months, if not years.

For all intents and purposes, and from my lay point of view, the owners’ offer seems fairly reasonable. However, there are two bones of contention: how the owners will divide revenue with the players and how the owners will divide their share amongst each other through revenue sharing, luxury taxes, etc.

The players rightfully don’t want to commit to a deal unless the owners figure out their part first. In this latest proposal, which the NY Times has a review of, the owners limit the rights of free agents by restricting how much money someone can make and which teams they could sign with when switching teams.

The owners contend that this will protect small-market teams like Cleveland from losing a superstar like LeBron James, which will allow franchise values and revenues to grow in places other than the big cities. The players think this is unfair. If a player spends seven years with a team, why shouldn’t they be able to sign a similar contract somewhere else? Neither side is wrong. And that’s where we are, kids.

Nobody’s going to be happy when this is all said and done, but they’re forgetting the one group of people that is going to be the least happy: the fans. It’s time to compromise. The revenue that they’re fighting over is shrinking by the minute.

You wouldn’t think twice about this Family Feud matchup between the Paul family and the O’Hara family. That is until Paul family captain, Chris, comes out to start the festivities. Yes, NBA All-Star Chris Paul is spending his lockout time by appearing on the Feud. And I’m sure the producers made the Paul family go through the rigorous screening procedures that all contestants go through as well. When I was a kid, my two dreams were to play in the NBA and appear on a game show. Chris Paul has stolen my dreams. If he ever shows up on Double Dare, I’ll kill him.

Much like his time in New Orleans, Paul was eliminated before winning anything substantial. Come on, Chris! You don’t want anyone to see your wallet? Who do you think we are? Groupies? If you can’t handle the O’Haras, how are you going to handle the pressures of playing in New York?

I’m all for seeing locked out NBA players on game shows. Better than working at a furniture store. Let’s get Queen James on the new edition of Fear Factor. He’d probably start crying if he had to eat a cockroach. Steve Harvey was onto something here. The only problem is you need NBA players to go head-to-head against one another. Can we see what the Pachulia family is up to? We going to Fast Money, Fast Money, FAST MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!

What Could Have Been

Posted: November 2, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, Knicks, Miami Heat, NBA, NBA lockout

Tonight should have been Opening Night for the Knicks. Their game against the Heat would have been an epic matchup, but it was cancelled as part of the NBA lockout. I’m pissed. Hopefully everybody is pissed. I won’t pretend to be an expert and make suggestions on how to solve all the economic problems the NBA has. I just think the two sides should compromise and come up with a 1- or 2-year bridge agreement while they come up with a permanent solution. Everyone is losing more money by missing games than making a bad deal. For now, all we have is memories from last year. But hey, when they involve Amar’e beasting over Queen James in the clutch, things aren’t so bad (until they cancel the Christmas games).

Throwback: The First Lockout

Posted: October 12, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, Knicks, NBA, NBA lockout, Throwback, videos

The NBA lockout has officially caused the cancellation of the first 100 games of the upcoming season. I’m pissed and hopefully all the basketball fans out there are too. If we make enough noise, you have to believe that it will all get settled sooner rather than later. Of course, that’s assuming that the owners and players are rational, which they rarely are. Adrian Wojnarowski of Yahoo wrote a good article about Commissioner Stern’s role in the proceedings. It’s worth a read.

The lockout of 1998-99 also sucked but the shortened season resulted in the Knicks going on one of the wildest playoff runs ever. With last second heroics ranging from improbable to miraculous, it was the one good thing to come out of the lockout. Here’s hoping something similar happens this time.

The Celtics’ Delonte West is a man of the people. Unlike others, he’s trying to stay out of trouble during the NBA lockout and even earn a little extra money to take his girl Gloria out to dinner. Delonte recently went down to his local Regency Furniture and submitted a fine (mostly-filled) job application to work in the stock room. How do we know? Because he tweeted it. And so what if he was convicted of a crime? It was just a misunderstanding. “Sorry officer, I didn’t know I can’t ride around on my motorcycle with a couple sawed-off shotguns.” Happens to me all time. In fact, Delonte’s application is so good I’m willing to hire him here in The Suite. I’ll even double his pay to $12 an hour.

Melo For NBA Players’ Union President

Posted: September 2, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, Knicks, Melo, NBA, NBA lockout

Carmelo Anthony isn’t a genius. Fuck, he only went to college for a year but he said something smart on Tuesday that’s better than anything else that’s come out about the lockout. Melo said, “Just let us play and continue to negotiate. That’s what we say.” Hell yes. Can I get a “Let them play” chant? He added, “I want a deal done, we all want a deal done. We just want it to be fair for both parties. We want to play basketball at the end of the day. We don’t care about none of that other stuff. They could settle that; just let us play and continue to negotiate.”

I’m glad somebody has the right attitude. It’s not going to be as easy as “Let’s keep playing and negotiating” but at least Melo cares more about money and pride. The new deal most likely won’t make either side too happy. Tough shit. The economy sucks. Move forward and get this season started on time.


Z-Bo Being Z-Bo

Posted: August 26, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, crime and punishment, NBA, NBA lockout, Z-Bo

We’re officially at the point of the NBA lockout where players start getting into trouble and who better to lead us there than Z-Bo, Zach Randolph? Z-Bo’s night started out like anyone’s would on a cozy summer Friday: he chartered a cruise for him and his buddies. He met James Beasley on the cruise and invited Beasley over to his house, so Randolph could buy some weed from him. When the two couldn’t agree on the price, a couple of Z-Bo’s friends beat Beasley up and took the product. Their weapon of choice? Pool cues.

Z-Bo’s learning, though. He wasn’t physically involved with the assault so he’s likely not to face any trouble. Personally, I always haggle for price on my chartered cruises before I invite the drug dealer back to my place. Now that Z-Bo has set the bar, what other zany antics will the locked-out NBA players do next? Will Chris Andersen try flying off a bridge? Will Michael Beasley get a tattoo on his face that says, “I hate Commissioner Stern?” Will Eddy Curry go on a diet? Probably not on that one.