Archive for the ‘Michael Beasley’ Category

Timberwolves forward Michael Beasley likes to smoke. Everybody knows this. Unfortunately for Supercool Beas, who’s playing exhibition games in China, the Chinese like to smoke a lot more. Beasley suffered an asthma attack last week due to giant clouds of cigarette smoke hovering in the arena during a game. Apparently, Chinese smoking laws are a little more lax than in America. Back at his hotel, Beasley collapsed and had to be taken to the hospital. He’s fine now, at least when it comes to his lungs. Beas broke his wrist in an ensuing game.

I’ve always wanted to have a Drunk Olympics, where people compete at different events while they’re drunk but this is just as good: the Smoke Olympics. How fast can you run a mile when the air is filled with cigarette smoke? Let’s make this happen, Marlboro!

As for the Chinese, I don’t get why everyone is so afraid they’re gonna take over the world. Yeah, they have a ton of people and they may be good at engineering, but they’re clearly dumb as fuck when it comes to simple things like not smoking. How are they going to win World War III? All their soldiers will be gassed by the time they run 200 yards and robot soldier technology is at least 50 years away. By then, they’ll all be dead with lung cancer.