Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Enes Kantor: Keepin’ It Real

Posted: April 30, 2012 by Keith Stone in Uncategorized


The speeches players make before games are usually so generic. “Me and my teammates want to thank you for coming out tonight. We appreciate your support.” Jazz rookie Enes Kanter changed all that with a mic drop for the ages in their last game of the regular season. It’s not surprising Utah made the playoffs when you see all the players laughing and having fun with each other at the end of Kanter’s speech. What is surprising is that a gangster from Turkey would be so popular in Salt Lake City. He’s definitely giving Zaza Pachulia a run for his money for the greatest on-court speech by an Eastern European basketball player ever.

Advertisements

>My Perfect 14-6 Season

Posted: February 6, 2011 by Keith Stone in Uncategorized

>Originally published February 5, 2008
 

It was the best hangover ever.  I finished the two bottles of champagne.  Alex said he was at the Pour House.  I left the apt and just started jogging there.  I was high-fiving everybody in blue.  It was amazing.  I get there.  People on the bar.  Everyone going crazy.  I’m hugging people.  We start singing We Are The Champions.  SNY has coverage in the locker room.  I’m going out of my mind.  Just loving everybody.  After a pitcher of beer, I was feeling pretty sick.  I managed to get to McD’s for some snack wraps since all I had eaten all day was a slice of pizza.  I get back.  Watch SportsCenter.  Koch was there.  Hugged him.  Just watched everything I could about the game for like an hour.  It was beautiful.  My bed is covered in confetti and champagne.  I fell asleep somehow.  I woke up at 8.  Slept about 2 hours.  Got up to get the paper.  Still wearing my Shockey jersey.  I had a tremendous amount of soreness in my bed but somehow the thought of seeing Eli’s beautiful face on the cover of the Daily News just blinds it out.  I’m walking to the deli and make an executive decision.  I’m like, “Fuck it, I’m getting my Championship hat and shirt.”  No coat.  Flip flops.  Get the newspaper in the subway station.  Beautiful.  Almost makes me cry.  Awesome picture.  I get to Times Square.  Still feeling pretty pained.  I reeeeeeeeeeeeeek of champagne.  There’s like a champagne crust in my hair.  It’s just stiff.  It’s cold.  It starts to snow.  Kinda wish I had my coat.  Get to Modell’s.  Hats aren’t in.  Enjoy the finest McD’s breakfast there ever was.  Read the coverage.  It was amazing.  Go back to Modell’s.  The hats are in!  I don’t even care that I haven’t paid yet, I grab one and just put it on.  It felt so good.  I had to wait on line for a while but I didn’t care.  Throw the shirt on.  I probably look stupid to everyone going to work and here’s some kid with like 5 layers on that smells insane and just has this incredibly stupid stupid smile on his face.  I get back to my apt.  Finish the paper.  Take the greatest shower there ever was.  More highlights.  The replay button on my remote is totally worn down.  Watch Mike’d Up.  Everything on ESPNEWS.  Go for a footlong spicy Italian sub at Subway.  Pick up 8 different newspapers with Eli Manning on the cover.  Just soak in Mike & the Mad Dog.  Great scene at the beginning with their predictions and Dog saying the Pats will win 49-7.  I’m pretty tired by this point so I kind of go in and out of sleep like those guys in that Roxbury commercial.  Get to work.  Everyone is actually congratulating me.  The hardest thing about this is that everyone seems happy that the Giants won.  I haven’t had one person that said they weren’t rooting for them.  I get back home.  Just keep replaying everything on my DVR.  The Tyree catch, the greatest play in NFL history!  Plax Burress and the Super Bowl-winning touchdown!  The Alford sack on second down!  Webster just getting a piece of the ball on third down!  And finally, 4th and 20 and the Giants bring the Lombardi Trophy back home!

It’s my 11th season being a Giants fan and it’s been disappointing for the most part, but everything was just wiped away.  It reminded me why I love these teams and how it feels to win.  Everything, the meltdown against the Vikings losing the onside kick and Eddie Murray, Sehorn breaking his leg, Danny Kannell just never working out, getting blown out by Baltimore, the 86 Lambuth Special, Trey Junkin the most heartbreaking loss all those penalties losing that big lead Shockey drops the touchdown and the refs messing up the call, bottoming out when it seemed like we had so much potential, Eli’s 0 rating game, getting shutout by the Panthers I remember sitting in the stands at that game as Eli threw one interception after another and just feeling empty inside while Steve Smith did snow angels in the end zone, just getting torn apart last year and losing at 0:00.  Everything just wiped away.  Even this year, after that awful Vikings game it seemed like they were heading to another mediocre season.  Getting that text message from Koch that Shockey broke his leg then seeing him leave the Stadium in an ambulance.  It all just vanished.  At the same time I know this wouldn’t feel so good if it wasn’t for all those moments.  And of course there are all those little moments and all those Giants before that I will never forget.  Winning the NFC East against the Redskins, Bratzke, beating the undefeated Broncos, Graham, Division Champs in Dallas, Barrow, starting off the playoffs with a kickoff return TD waving my towel spying on Donovan and The Interception, Sehorn, 41-0, Cloud Comella, Shockey wanting the ball more than Dawkins and then getting into the playoffs in OT the best regular season game I ever saw, Bryant, beating the Rams the first week of college, Fassel, Starting off 2006 as East Champs, Carter, Tiki doing everything everything everything to make sure we’d get into the playoffs at 8-8.

This year it all started rolling when Ahmad Bradshaw tore off that run against the Bills.  I liked him in the preseason but I never thought that he would be such a catalyst.  And without him we would never be the World Champs.  I think that’s true for everybody on the team.  Without any one of them, we would not be the Champs.  Well, maybe Ruben Droughns (just kidding).  Even Chase Blackburn poor guy.  If he didn’t get that penalty we would have been in much worse field position and who knows what would have happened.  He played great in 2005.  And Steve Smith.  I can’t put into words how much I love him.  Underrated play.  Walking the tightrope.  Getting out of bounds.  First down.  And setting up the big TD.  I saw that ball in the air and Plax was wide open and all I could think was “Don’t drop it!” and he didn’t.  And David Tyree.  David Tyree, that’s all you have to say.  I went up to see them practice in Albany on August 1 and who would have thought that almost 6 months later they’d be going down the Canyon. I’m extremely happy that I got a chance to see the Champs at camp.  I just remember watching Eli practice those fades into inflatable baskets like imaginary receivers.  I sat there sweating like crazy and it was so hot watching Eli throw those high balls.  Over and over and over and over and over.  Fade into the left corner end zone.  Fade into the left corner end zone.  Fade into the left corner end zone.  I could have never imagined that he would throw one for the Championship.  I sat there on the hill wondering why I was watching Eli Manning throwing these fades into the left corner end zone.  Maybe I was sick in the head to sit out in that heat.  Maybe I needed more friends.  I now know why I sat out in that heat.  It’s the same reason why I’m typing on my computer in my training camp shirt that I wore during the Super Bowl and now reeeeeeeeeeeeeks of champagne.  And yea, I can’t say that the New York Football Giants are the best team in the world, but on that one glorious day, February 3, 2008 when Eli Manning made that perfect pass into the left corner end zone, the New York Football Giants were the best team in the world.  XLII Champions

>Jabroni of the Week: Minka Kelly

Posted: February 3, 2011 by Keith Stone in Uncategorized

>

Not only does Captain Jeter have to worry about recovering from the worst statistical season of his career, an acrimonious contract dispute, and the loss of Andy Pettitte, but his lady is starring in what looks to be the worst movie of all-time The Roommate.  I’ve had some odd roommates in my day.  One of them threatened to kill me because I wanted to watch the ALCS while he was doing his homework.  But come on!  If Leighton Meester was that fucked up, she wouldn’t be stalking Minka Kelly and stealing her life, she would be working her way through the lacrosse team.  The Roommate looks so bad on so many levels, I wouldn’t even see it for the unintentional comedy or the fact that two hotties star in it, although I do love me some Billy Zane.  I can’t fathom the thought of the Captain sitting through this 93-minute pile of garbage, but he’s going to have to.  At least A-Rod got to watch Me, Myself, and Dupree.

>Bitch Goes Down (UPDATE)

Posted: February 3, 2011 by Keith Stone in Uncategorized

>

I know I pick on the Islanders a lot, but how could you not?  They have the ugliest fans in the NHL and the Nassau Mausoleum is a joke.  Last night, goalie Rick DiPietro tripped Matt Cooke of the Penguins as their game was winding down to a 3-0 Isles loss.  That didn’t sit well with Penguins goalie Brent Johnson, and before you knew it was goalie fight time.

DP did his best impression of Glass Joe from Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out and fell to the ice after one punch like the little girl he is.  Don’t worry, Long Island kids!  He’s only under contract for 10 more years.  Good luck with that.

UPDATE: DP is out 4-6 weeks with facial fractures and knee soreness.  Heart of a champion!

>Goodbye Andy

Posted: February 3, 2011 by Keith Stone in Uncategorized

>

Andy Pettitte is expected to announce his retirement on Friday.  Whenever the Yankees’ backs were against the wall, he was the one you wanted on the mound.  Andy was born to wear pinstripes.  I’m going to miss #46.

>Knicks Stricken With Bieber Fever

Posted: February 3, 2011 by Keith Stone in Uncategorized

>

The Knickerbockers had a tough 113-97 loss to the Mavericks at home tonight, but how could they concentrate?  Justin Bieber was in the house.  After being shown on Gardenvision, Bieber was showered with boos like he was Reggie Miller crossed with John Wilkes Booth.  Maybe the purple glasses and bow tie didn’t help.  He definitely wasn’t expecting that reaction from the Garden faithful and his boyish smile faded like someone just told him Santa Claus didn’t exist.  The Knicks fell apart soon afterward.  Timofey Mozgov followed up his double-double with 4 points and 1 rebound but can’t wait for the release of Never Say Never in 3D on February 11.  Also, Dirk Nowitzki scored 29 points.  The Knicks are in Philly on Friday.  Hopefully Bieber stays home.

>Alison Brie: Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum

Posted: February 3, 2011 by Keith Stone in Uncategorized

>

I’m catching up with some old episodes of Community on my DVR and Alison Brie is such a fox.  Not only is she hilarious as Annie, but she plays Pete Campbell’s wife on Mad Men.  Two of the best shows on TV and two great diverse acting performances.  And look at those legs.  Dayyyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!