>Fitty Loves Chelsea

Posted: January 27, 2011 by Keith Stone in Uncategorized

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50 Cent is heartbroken that Chelsea Handler dumped him for hotelier Andre Balazs right before Christmas.  So now he’s doing what any poor sap would do: send her presents.  I imagine that as Chelsea was opening up jewel-encrusted chalices and luxurious bottles of cognac, her little sidekick Chuy was already preparing boxes to send them back in.  Really Fitty?  You’re a bazillionaire P.I.M.P. and you’re grovelling over Chelsea Fucking Handler?  She looks older than Joan Rivers and she’s less funny.  I know you have trouble losing your ladies to old dudes and it stings.  Vivica A. Fox went with Larry David and now Chelsea is with this rich guy.  Sack up and get over it.  You can have any video girl you want and those girls are freaks.   If you really want to get Chelsea back, you should make her jealous.  I hear that Sarah Silverman is available.

US Weekly

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