>And Introducing Dat Roro Kid…As Himself

Posted: February 18, 2011 by Keith Stone in ridiculous, Suite

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I got a call from Sarah Palin earlier and she was pretty upset at the lack of representation in the Suite from outside the big city. The last thing I want is for the geniuses at Fox News to put me on the black list so I searched high and low for somebody new. I went to the backwoods of West Virginia and ate rat stew with a brother and sister that were also husband and wife. I scoured Alaska for a writer and maybe a governor’s daughter. Just when I was about to give up hope, finally I found him, Dat Roro Kid.

Dat Roro Kid was born in Cuba and emigrated to Miami in the 80’s. After becoming a member of the Lopez drug cartel and surviving a harrowing chainsaw attack, he rose through the ranks of the family ultimately taking control of it himself. Roro married Michelle Pfeiffer and was believed to be assassinated after feuding with a rival drug dealer. Unbeknown to all, he was hiding away in Little Havana, eating mucho bistec, and soaking in the luxurious Miami sports scene.

As a Miami sports fan, Roro loves arriving to games in the second quarter and pumped-in crowd noise. Also, boobs. Big ones. While he supports all of the Miami teams, his main passion is for Florida Panthers hockey. Roro is also a writer for the Heat blog Miami Heat Nation and Dolphins blog Fins Nation. He drinks scotch like a champ and will gladly accept any free drinks.

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