So What’s Going On In Britain?

Posted: May 12, 2011 by Keith Stone in England, newspapers

A casual search of the Sun newspaper from across the pond finds the following are currently its top five most read news stories:

1. Women’s sex with five boys seen from train-Pretty self-explanatory although three of the boys were underage and the others ran away. I’d run away too if you knew what this chick looked like.

2. Pippa’s looking ripper-My future girl Pippa Middleton went out and about the other day. Nice ass shot although the article was about 12 words long. Good thing England doesn’t have real news.

3. Come die with me-A man answered a post on Craigslist to be killed and eaten. When he realized it was serious, he called the cops. “Well, you see Officer, I just thought he was going to pretend to eat me.” Dude should have been eaten for real for being an idiot.

4. Arsenal injected me with a yellow liquid-Apparently, Arsenal is something called a soccer team and it injected players in the 90’s with a strange yellow substance. It does not appear that Jose Canseco was involved, however.

5. Gag actor tells wife: I slept with Roo hooker-An actor admitted to his wife that he fucked a hooker that was later involved with soccer player Wayne Rooney. Pretty straight forward until you realize that the actor’s name is never given and it reads like something you’d read in the National Enquirer.

In conclusion, there’s not much going on in Britain. And I thought the Post was bad.

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