Jabroni of the Week: Kevin James

Posted: July 10, 2011 by Keith Stone in jabronis, Kevin James

Zookeeper, really? Kevin James is a funny dude. The King of Queens makes me laugh. I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry and Hitch proved he could be a legit co-star in a big movie, but his solo efforts are such cop-outs. Literally. Paul Blart, Mall Cop may be the low point in human culture. That is, until Zookeeper. Did somebody drive a dump truck full of money up to his house in exchange for his participation in this masterpiece?

I get that it must be fun and easy to do a kiddie movie. There’s no pressure to be really funny. Kids like fart jokes and animals and they have to bring their parents to the movies. That’s two tickets sold at once! He’s not the first guy to do this either. Most of the greats have. Eddie Murphy, Jim Carrey, Adam Sandler, Ben Stiller. They’ve all mortgaged some of their street cred to do mediocre kids movies. The only difference is that they’ve each been in several epic flicks. I can accept Bedtime Stories because Sandler has done Happy Gilmore. Kevin James has never been in a classic, but I know he has one or two of those performances in him. If he died right now, he wouldn’t have that one moment we all remember him by like the pose off scene in Zoolander.That’s why it so disappointing that he’s content to keep putting crap out.

Kev, baby, you have to believe in yourself. I’m sure Zookeeper will be a financial success but, jeez, a talking gorilla that wants to go to Applebee’s? Really? You can’t be afraid to reach your potential and do an adult movie every once in a while. You’re a funny guy, but you’re not in the top tier of comedians. The other guys had to work to be able to get their kiddie movie payouts. Don’t take the easy way out. Until then, you’re a jabroni, brother.

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