Rainman Suite

United Arab Emirates national soccer team member Theyab Awana made an sweet reverse penalty kick in a friendly against Lebanon on Sunday. It’s too bad the U.S. Women didn’t try the move out. Sure, it wasn’t sportsmanlike since his team was up 5-2 but Awana probably hooked up with at least 40 virgins after the game. Knowing the way it works out in the Middle East, though, maybe this is the last thing we need. In fact, if I remember my history right, the entire Israeli-Palestinian conflict dates back to a soccer game played in 1948. Horrible effort by the goalie as well. Lieutenant Dan could’ve stopped that shot. When World War III starts, I’m blaming him.