Jabroni of the Week: Rex Grossman

Posted: August 14, 2011 by Keith Stone in Deadskins, football, jabronis, NFL, Rex Grossman

What is it with these guys named Rex? QB Rex Grossman went on the record saying that his Redskins were going to win the NFC East this year. I’m all for being optimistic, but when you make a guarantee there has to be a somewhat-realistic chance that the prediction is going to come true. I have a better chance of hooking up with Kate Upton than the Deadskins do of winning the division.

Forget about the fact that everyone is slobbering all over the Dream Team to go 19-0. The Giants and Cowboys are both underrated and have good chances in the East. The only way the Deadskins could win a division was if they were magically realigned to the NFC West. Even then, it’d be close. For sure, Washington isn’t terrible. They’re just not good. They made some decent free agent pickups (overpaid as usual) but ironically enough, their greatest weakness is the guy that made this crazy guarantee. Rex Grossman would have trouble leading a team to win the UFL, much less the toughest division in football. I’d buy an outside shot at a playoff berth, but NFC East Champs? You gotta be fucking kidding me. If the Skins win the NFC East, I’ll stand in the middle of Times Square wearing a burgundy and gold speedo and sing Hail To the Redskins.

Rexy, baby, I know you made the Super Bowl five years ago but that was because you had the best defense in the game. Plus the NFC sucked that year. This isn’t 2006. I like your confidence but come on. Nobody’s buying it. Not even the most optimistic Deadskins fan. Honestly, I didn’t even realize you were still in the NFL. Why don’t you worry more about completing more than 10 passes in a game and not about magical fantasies? And enjoy the 6-10 season. Until then, you’re a jabroni, brother.


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