You might remember Harold Camping as the guy that predicted the world would end on May 21st. Turns out it didn’t but Camping said his calculations were off by five months. October 21st came around and yet I am still trying to pick out a Halloween costume. This is the 12th time now Camping has predicted that the Earth would be destroyed by giant earthquakes. He makes flimsier guarantees than Rex Ryan.
The funniest part about it is when his followers plan for the end of the world by spending all their time and money to spread the word only to have it blow up in their faces. Remember that guy from Staten Island who spent his life savings on billboards? Somebody actually called the radio show Camping hosts to say, “You’re really pathetic, you know? I wasted all my money because of you. I was putting all my money and my hopes on you. I wish I could see you face to face, I would smack you.” That’s not very Christian.
Harold, baby, you’re like 112 years old. The world is ending for you soon anyway. I appreciate the warnings about the apocalypse and all but I think good old Keith Stone can handle it himself. You really gotta chill with all the dire predictions, though. Some people are a little too gullible. I think it’s about time you saved face. If a chick says she doesn’t want to go out with you, you can’t keep asking her out, bro. You have to let it go. That only happens on TV, like with Urkel. Do you have a transformation machine?
The real secret to all this end of the world bullshit is that you should always treat other people with compassion and respect. Go out there and enjoy your life and then if the world does end, you’ll be safe. I don’t think God put us here to worry about the End of Days. Have some fun, Harry. Until then, you’re a jabroni, brother.
Rainman Suite 