Jabroni of the Week: Nelson Cruz

Posted: October 30, 2011 by Keith Stone in baseball, jabronis, MLB, MLB Playoffs, Nelson Cruz, Texas Rangers, World Series

You already know what happened in Game 6 of the World Series. It already won at least four ESPY’s and the awards ceremony is like nine months away. With two outs in the bottom of the ninth and his team up by two runs, Nelson Cruz had a chance to win the World Title for the Texas Rangers by making a challenging, yet makeable, play on a fly ball to right field. Jose Canseco did better when the ball bounced off his head for a home run. Cruz looked terrified of touching the wall, like it was made up of healthy food or something, David Freese ended up with a triple, and the rest, as they say, was history.

Nelson Cruz had one of the greatest postseasons in history, no doubt, but winners make plays when the game is on the line. How many times in any sport in the past 10 years has a Championship come down to one play? All I can think of is Adam Vinatieri’s two Super Bowl-winning field goals. Cruz literally had the Ring in his hand and he couldn’t handle it.

How does he not go all out for that ball? It was about six inches away from his glove. He may have been banged up but he should have gone through the wall to make the catch. If you’re a Rangers fan, how do you even watch Cruz play next season knowing that he came so close to winning the World Series? It’s like seeing one of your buds get drunk and vomit and shit on the floor at the same time. You’re still friends but you can’t look them in the eye anymore.

Nellie, baby, this is the part where I usually try to console the week’s offending jabroni and give them advice for the future, but I don’t know what to say. That’s saying something considering one of them was a mass-murdering tyrant. You blew it. You can hit all the home runs you want but that play will always live on. Bill Buckner fucked up too, but at least he seemed to be trying. And his team wasn’t up by two runs. Well, at least we don’t have to hear about Tony LaRussa anymore. Next time you have a chance to win the World Series, don’t worry about the wall. Also try to get a little fielding work in during spring training. Until then, you’re a jabroni, brother.

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