Archive for the ‘Courtney Stodden’ Category

Dr. Drew Performs His Most Important Procedure Yet

Posted: November 10, 2011 by Keith Stone in bOObs, Courtney Stodden, Dr. Drew
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Much maligned child bride Courtney Stodden has been roundly criticized for her adult looks. Some might think the 17-year-old has been, um, surgically enhanced, but these types of bodily changes are natural for teenagers. Dr. Drew, like myself, does not like to see anyone take heat for things that are out of their control. Saint that he is, Drew magnanimously invited Court to be on his show Dr. Drew’s Lifechangers to prove that she’s as pure as the driven snow. To do this, she was given an ultrasound of her tits (in her heels, of course) by the upstanding Dr. John Diaz, who after much deliberation declared that our girl is 100% real grade-A beef. Thanks Dr. Drew! I knew I should have gone to med school.

Facebook Is Unamerican

Posted: October 16, 2011 by Keith Stone in Courtney Stodden, Facebook, U!S!A!
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Child bride and Suite favorite Courtney Stodden is just like any other 17-year-old. She enjoys the newfound freedoms of earning her driver’s license, takes care of her creepy pedophile husband, and posts sexy pictures of herself on Facebook. Until recently. Our girl Court was banned from Facebook for “inappropriate sexual content.” Facebook exists pretty much solely FOR inappropriate sexual content, Zuck. This could be the start of a disturbing trend. Now all the other little high school sluts are going to get banned, and then I won’t have any to do while I’m procrastinating from writing posts. This isn’t Communist Sweden. If whores want to post pics of themselves with their boobs out or making out with each other, then I say God bless ’em. George Washington sacrificed his life so Courtney Stodden could exercise her First Amendment rights. Forget Occupy Wall Street, we need to Occupy Facebook. Hit the music…


Us Weekly

Summer Song 2011: Don’t Put It On Me?

Posted: June 24, 2011 by Keith Stone in Courtney Stodden, Summer Song 2011
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Courtney Stodden is the 16-year-old singer who married the 51-year-old creepy guy from The Green Mile. I’d marry her in a sec. For a teenager, she’s got two really big, jiggly assets: her youthful exuberance and world-class singing ability. Plus, her music video reeks of class. Singing about stealing guys while sitting in a swamp with a pink puppy and giant margarita she probably got at Mardi Gras? Donald Trump would hire her in a second.