Archive for the ‘bOObs’ Category

Much maligned child bride Courtney Stodden has been roundly criticized for her adult looks. Some might think the 17-year-old has been, um, surgically enhanced, but these types of bodily changes are natural for teenagers. Dr. Drew, like myself, does not like to see anyone take heat for things that are out of their control. Saint that he is, Drew magnanimously invited Court to be on his show Dr. Drew’s Lifechangers to prove that she’s as pure as the driven snow. To do this, she was given an ultrasound of her tits (in her heels, of course) by the upstanding Dr. John Diaz, who after much deliberation declared that our girl is 100% real grade-A beef. Thanks Dr. Drew! I knew I should have gone to med school.

The Saddest Day of the Year

Posted: November 2, 2011 by Keith Stone in bOObs, tragedy

This is always the day I least look forward to. The best month of the year is over. Some of you may call it October. I know it simply as Breast Awareness Month. Let’s look back and remember the good times. Make sure to put your pink ribbons in a safe place for next year, kids.

Isn’t That Where the Flyers Play?

Posted: October 6, 2011 by Keith Stone in bOObs, good, hockey

Breast cancer awareness month is taking over the world. Every player in the NFL is already wearing pink cleats, hats, gloves, you name it. Not to be outdone, Missouri State painted their ice pink. Either that or they play hockey on jello.


Let Them Babies Breathe

Posted: September 1, 2011 by Keith Stone in bOObs, chicks

I’m a feminist. I think women should be treated equally to men. If they want to play football, let them play football (in lingerie). If they want to let their boobies hang out, then why the fuck shouldn’t they be able to? (great website but NSFW) organized a series of protests around the country to argue that point two weekends ago. Then this weekend in Asheville, North Carolina, two obviously fascist former elected officials held a protest to protest the original protest. You with me here?

You’re thinking this is where freedom dies, right? In the name of liberty, two bastions of justice showed up at the anti-toplessness rally and bared their lovely and supple breasts to the crowd. Twenty-one year-old Molly Sarah Rosch took it a step further and took her pants off before she was arrested by the KGB, but I say she’s a hero. She’s like Martin Luther King, Jr., Gandhi, and Jenna Jameson all wrapped into one.


Look At the Bombs On This One

Posted: August 18, 2011 by Keith Stone in Australia, bOObs, da bomb

Madeleine Pulver was studying for exams during her last year of high school in Sydney, Australia when a masked man entered her house and placed a bomb necklace on her. Terrifying, right? Luckily the bomb was revealed to be a fake and a suspect was apprehended in Kentucky (because who doesn’t commute between Australia and Kentucky?) so we can admire the real hero of the story: Madeleine Pulver and her amazing bombs.

BOOM. Girl must be eating some quality shrimp on the barbie. If the masked dude tried to put a bomb vest on her, there’s no way it would have fit. I’m just glad the bomb squad didn’t try to disable those bad boys. I’m not trying to make light of her ordeal but seriously, try to read the Post article without looking at her boobs. It’s impossible. Couldn’t do it for a million bucks. It took me about 20 minutes to read the entire thing. My eyes just kept drifting back to those puppies. Leave it to the Post to choose a picture for a serious article with the chick’s massive tits hanging out. I guess that’s why people still read it.

Happy Breastfeeding Week!

Posted: August 4, 2011 by Keith Stone in awesome, bOObs

This is apparently Breastfeeding Week. I didn’t know until now but I’m not wasting any more time to celebrate. It’s is a special week, a time to be with your sweetheart and suck on her big old titties. Here’s something to enjoy in the meantime.

Is This A Boy Or A Girl? [NSFW?]

Posted: July 18, 2011 by Keith Stone in bOObs, soccer

I was at the beach yesterday so I didn’t get to watch the Women’s World Cup Finals. When I was watching the highlights on ESPNEWS, they showed a crowd reaction shot where somebody lifted their shirt and their goodness was blurred out. I’m a big fan of nationally-televised boobies so I went on a quest to find them. Thanks to the miracle of technology and YouTube, I found the uncensored crowd reaction shot but I have to say I’m not quite sure what’s going on here. I haven’t been this befuddled since the Thai hookers in The Hangover 2. Leave it to the biggest event in women’s sports to have a moment of gender confusion like this. And yes, when Carmelo hits his first game winner at the buzzer this season, I’m taking my shirt off.