Last week, The Sun newspaper in England was reporting several absurd stories ranging from a teacher gangbanging some kids to a cannibal looking for a meal on Craigslist. Heartbreakingly, it may not be true. The Sun also recently “reported” about a mom who gave botox injections to her 8-year-old daughter. Fucked up but this is the age of Toddlers & Tiaras. The story was picked up by Good Morning America and Inside Edition, who offered the mom money to appear on their shows. She did, but pesky child welfare officials were watching and took the daughter away. Now the mom is claiming that The Sun initially gave her $200 to play along with the story even though it was completely false.
First off, great parenting job. The mom basically ruined her daughter’s life for a few bucks. She may as well have sold her straight to the Spearmint Rhino. Secondly, whose dumbass idea over at The Sun was it to run a stupid fake story like this? A kid getting botox is barely interesting if it’s true. Why risk the reputation of the newspaper over something silly like that when they should be getting more bikini pics of Pippa Middleton?
Now I don’t know what to believe. Did the teacher really gangbang those kids? Did Prince William really get married or was that an actor? Does England even have a monarchy? If I can’t believe the British tabloids, what can I believe in? When I’m checking out at the grocery store, maybe the other publications are lying too. Maybe Carrie Underwood isn’t happy in her marriage. Maybe Elvis wasn’t abducted by UFO’s. Wait a minute, Osama might still be alive. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Rainman Suite 