Old Man Has A Lot Of Porn

Posted: June 29, 2011 by Keith Stone in porn, ridiculous

Dr. Clifford Scheiner apparently never heard of streaming online video. The PhD in sexuality has amassed more than 350,000 articles of porn over the years, the largest collection since Hideki Matsui’s, including manuscripts from the Middle Ages and every issue of Playboy. Dr. Scheiner claims that the pursuit is totally intellectual. Surprisingly, he doesn’t appear to have a girlfriend. It’s a great pickup line though to bust out at a bar, though. “Hey babe, let’s do a shot of Jack and then we’ll go back to my place and read some erotica from Louis VIII’s palace.”

Dr. Love collected his stash mostly before the advent of the Internet, so I’m sure 98% of it is accessible online, where you can see Swedish teenagers suck off a horse (or so I’ve heard). However in recent years, Dr. Scheiner has turned his interest to Talmudic studies, which is a natural progression because every time I jack it I just want to read the Torah. He estimates to have spent over $1 million on all his porn. I will now light myself on fire.

I wish I knew that sexuality was something you could study at school. With all the porn I watched, I could have at least minored in it. Maybe I can still go for the PhD.

NY Daily News

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