Jabroni of the Week: Harry Potter Fanatics

Posted: July 17, 2011 by Keith Stone in Harry Potter, jabronis, movies

I don’t know much about Harry Potter except that he’s a British kid with magical powers. I also hear that the Harry Potter books are quite popular. I was never into wizards as a kid. I was more into Goosebumps (Night of the Living Dummy FTW) but I understand the appeal of Harry Potter to a kid. I could even see somebody in their 20’s checking out the movies and then reading the books as a novelty.

What I don’t get are the thousands and thousands of freaks who get dressed up and go see these movies at midnight. Even worse, Harry Potter is all they talk about and they inundate Facebook with comments that I don’t understand. What’s a dumbledore? The weirdos came out in full force this week. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s New Moon Part 2 (I think that’s the name) broke the all-time box office record for midnight showings on Friday. It wasn’t little kids that went to go see it. I saw the pictures. It was horrible.

Luckily, there is no more Harry Potter. If you have a job, you shouldn’t be dressing up in glasses, cape, wand, and scarf in public, unless it’s Halloween and you’re a slutty wizard. Kids are supposed to look up to us to set trends, not the other way around, again unless it’s Halloween and you’re a slutty schoolgirl. Let the kids have the fun. We can actually drink alcohol. At least Han Solo wasn’t 12-years-old and had crazy intergalactic sex with hooker aliens in Mos Eisley. I’ll dress like him everyday of the week before I see Harry Potter. Get a life. Or at least see the movie some afternoon in your normal clothes. Maybe even bring a date if you know any girls. Just don’t even think about starting this shit up with Hunger Games. Until then, you’re a jabroni, muggles.

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