Boston Worst-Dressed City In America

Posted: July 18, 2011 by Keith Stone in BOSTON SUCKS, fashion


Add fashion to the long list of things that Boston is horrible at. Boston was named the least-fashionable city by GQ. Not only that, but they were absolutely eviscerated by the magazine. It’s better than anything I could ever say, so here is the excerpt in its entirety:

“Boston is like America’s Bad-Taste Storm Sewer: all the worst fashion ideas from across the country flow there, stagnate, and putrefy. To be fair, it’s hard to be a fashion capital when half of your population is made up of undergraduate hoodie monsters, including those unfortunate coeds who don’t realize that leggings-as-pants were supposed to be paired with tops large enough to conceal their cameltoes. Yet when they graduate, they can wear their Uggs and still fit in at the country’s largest frat party on Lansdowne behind Fenway, where they can take breaks between body shots to admire just how long boot-cut jeans can stay in style in one place. And any classy lady from Beantown is bound to be impressed by formal sportswear. “But Boston is the epicenter of prep style!,” you say? That’s true, but it’s with a little extra that ends up ruining everything: Khakis!—with pleats. Boat shoes!—with socks. Knit ties!—actually, no one in Boston seems to have ever seen one of these. For the more proletarian-minded, there are the modest little burgs of Cambridge and Somerville, where everyone dresses like the proprietor of his or her very own meth lab. If you wonder how a people can live like this, well, it’s Jurassic Park for fashion troglodytes: life finds a way.”

Cameltoes? More like rhinocerostoes. Get it, ’cause Boston chicks are fat and repulsive? And that’s why I don’t write for GQ. Yanks vs. Sox in Boston on August 5th. Wear something nice, kids.

GQ

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