Archive for the ‘fashion’ Category

That’s A Lot Of Uniforms, Eh?

Posted: December 4, 2011 by Keith Stone in fashion, hockey, NHL
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WARNING HOCKEY FANS: Do not check out this website unless you have at least 30 minutes to kill. The Hockey Uniform Database has pretty much every (and I mean every) hockey uniform from the NHL over the past 90 years. Everything from the Islanders’ Gorton Fisherman design to the Montreal Maroons’ 1924 uniforms are represented along with detailed descriptions and explanations behind any changes. Ever wonder what Challenge Cup series jerseys looked like when NHLers took on the Soviets in 1979? Wonder no more. I don’t know who’s behind this website, but whoever he is can only be called a hero.

Who Is Managing Queen James?

Posted: September 13, 2011 by Keith Stone in basketball, fashion, NBA, Queen James
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Queen James knows fashion when he sees it. That’s why he tweeted that he’s in New York for Fashion Week to support his sister, LeBre’sha, who he claims will be the world’s next supermodel. I don’t know but I think I’m in love. Wait a minute. Is that a mustache?

It’s amazing to me that LeBron keeps doing these stupid things when he apparently has a huge team managing his every move. “Hey LeBron, why don’t you tweet out a picture of yourself in a Cover Girl ad? It’ll totally make people forget about the whole Decision thing and it wouldn’t be strange at all!” Seriously, what is the point of this? Is it supposed to be funny? LeBron needs to hit the gym and work on his cross-court moves instead of his cross-dressing moves. He needs to be less Dennis Rodman and more Michael Jordan. In fact, if MJ saw this, he’d probably smash all his golf clubs.

WEEK 1 Picks: A Fashionable Beginning

Posted: September 9, 2011 by Keith Stone in 2011 NFL Picks, fashion, football, NFL
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The Saints-Packers game was a real barnburner last night. Didn’t catch it. I was at Fashion’s Night Out. It might have been better than Halloween. I know that’s sacrilegious but it’s true. Tell a girl they need to look fashionable and they will dress like a whore. They’re so competitive. It’s like who can dress like the biggest whore in New York. Plus half the chicks were taller than me and still about half my weight. It was a fantastic time. You also can’t underestimate how fun it is to go into a store with a DJ blasting club music. And that, my friends, is my expert analysis of the Saints-Packers game. Onto the WEEK 1 picks!

STEELERS AT RAVENS (-1.5)
Stone: Steelers

Rodave: Steelers

Rory: Steelers
Pittsburgh is known for its gay steel mills.  Therefore, they should win this game.

DP Animal: Steelers
I don’t buy the Ravens this year: too old on defense, and Joe Flacco seems just good enough to lose a lot of close games to good teams.  Meanwhile, Pittsburgh remains one of the league’s best teams.

Phanatic: Steelers

FALCONS (-2.5) AT BEARS
Stone: Falcons

Rodave: Falcons

Rory: Falcons
Falcons can fly.  Bears can’t.

DP Animal: Falcons
Playoff flameout or not, the Falcons were one of the two or three best teams in the league last year, and I don’t expect much to have changed.  Matt Ryan is among the best quarterbacks in the league, and the Bears won’t get every lucky break like they did a year ago.

Phanatic: Falcons

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Boston Worst-Dressed City In America

Posted: July 18, 2011 by Keith Stone in BOSTON SUCKS, fashion
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Add fashion to the long list of things that Boston is horrible at. Boston was named the least-fashionable city by GQ. Not only that, but they were absolutely eviscerated by the magazine. It’s better than anything I could ever say, so here is the excerpt in its entirety:

“Boston is like America’s Bad-Taste Storm Sewer: all the worst fashion ideas from across the country flow there, stagnate, and putrefy. To be fair, it’s hard to be a fashion capital when half of your population is made up of undergraduate hoodie monsters, including those unfortunate coeds who don’t realize that leggings-as-pants were supposed to be paired with tops large enough to conceal their cameltoes. Yet when they graduate, they can wear their Uggs and still fit in at the country’s largest frat party on Lansdowne behind Fenway, where they can take breaks between body shots to admire just how long boot-cut jeans can stay in style in one place. And any classy lady from Beantown is bound to be impressed by formal sportswear. “But Boston is the epicenter of prep style!,” you say? That’s true, but it’s with a little extra that ends up ruining everything: Khakis!—with pleats. Boat shoes!—with socks. Knit ties!—actually, no one in Boston seems to have ever seen one of these. For the more proletarian-minded, there are the modest little burgs of Cambridge and Somerville, where everyone dresses like the proprietor of his or her very own meth lab. If you wonder how a people can live like this, well, it’s Jurassic Park for fashion troglodytes: life finds a way.”

Cameltoes? More like rhinocerostoes. Get it, ’cause Boston chicks are fat and repulsive? And that’s why I don’t write for GQ. Yanks vs. Sox in Boston on August 5th. Wear something nice, kids.

GQ

Brian Wilson, Fashion Icon

Posted: July 14, 2011 by Keith Stone in baseball, Brian Wilson, fashion, MLB
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The highlight of the ESPY’s was Brian Wilson’s spandex tuxedo. I can’t describe it any better than Seth Meyers did. He looks like a Batman villain. The trailer for The Dark Knight Rises was leaked online and Wilson was nowhere to be found but I’m still holding out hope that he’s in it. He could be called The Closer and throw exploding baseballs. Either that, or he’s trying out for a really high-class bobsled team. Really shouldn’t all bobsled uniforms have bow ties? Cool Runnings probably would have won an Oscar. Wilson’s only mistake was not inviting The Machine as his +1. Those two would have made a cute couple on the red carpet.

>Los Trail Blazers?

Posted: March 15, 2011 by Keith Stone in fashion, NBA, Spanish
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I was at the gym last night and I looked up at the TV to notice that El Heat were playing Los Spurs, at least according to what the players were wearing. As part of its Noche Latina celebration, the NBA has 12 games scheduled this month with Latin festivities and jerseys. I’ve complained about uniforms before, but come on, El Heat? That’s just ridiculous. According to Altavista, in Spanish, Spurs translates to Estímulos. I’m fine with that. So let’s do it the full way or no way. Just remember, in any language Clipper translates to loser.

>How the Hot Dogs are Made

Posted: February 22, 2011 by Keith Stone in fashion, interesting, Knicks
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The sporting-goods store, Gerry Cosby and Co., has prepared the Knicks’ jerseys for over half a century. Not Nike. Not Adidas. Once the Knicks inform them what numbers all the new guys will be wearing, the jerseys are prepped at their store a few blocks from the Garden and then the numbers and names are sewed on at an off-site location. It takes about an hour but if you had your own order waiting, sorry. The Knicks have priority. Whoever does Melo’s (looks like it will be #7) is like the Betsy Ross of the Knicks. Every stitch they sew on his first jersey will be a prelude to greatness and victory over the redcoats in Miami.
New York Magazine

>Isn’t It Fashion Week?

Posted: February 17, 2011 by Keith Stone in fashion, NBA
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I’m no clotheshorse. Actually, I’m kind of a slob. I wear the same outfits over and over. Most of my shirts are wrinkled and I haven’t washed my jeans in months. There’s only one kind of clothing that I care about: jerseys. Maybe I’m old school, but pretty much in any game I’ve ever seen before in any sport, one team wears white (excluding the Lakers — freaks). However, in several recent NBA games this hasn’t been so. One team has been wearing white since the Harding Administration. Why mess with a good thing? It’s unnatural, dagnabbit!

In yesterday’s Knicks-Hawks game, it was Blue vs. Red and I didn’t like it. It’s harder to tell the teams apart, although I guess it’s better than the 50’s when both teams were all-white. I kid because I love. I know teams are always wearing third jerseys and retro jerseys to make more money, but don’t screw with the history of the league to make a few bucks. Aren’t teams supposed to coordinate with each other beforehand anyway? Why couldn’t the Hawks have worn white? I love the throwbacks the Knicks wore last night. I wish that was their regular jersey. The white throwback is just as good. It’s what they wore when they won their first Title. It actually would have been even more of a throwback. I think Bill Bradley shed a tear last night. Don’t even get me started about the Hornets having yellow home jerseys.