Coach Taylor Has Nothing On This Guy

Posted: August 18, 2011 by Keith Stone in football, high school football, Texas

“You are going to witness how hungry, how focused, how tough, and how hungry we are to run right through your butts, right through you, and go all the way, starting with you, to go all the way to the State Championship!!!!!!”

I would say “clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose” but this guy’s eyes look a little off-kilter to me. Apparently Sloth from The Goonies and Dick Butkus had a love child and he loves Texas high school football, and more specifically the Knox City Greyhounds. If you’re on the Greyhounds, how can you not be fired up for today’s summer scrimmage after watching Sloth Butkus’s speech? It doesn’t matter that they lost their last game 77-3. He has the charisma of Don Johnson and the persuasive power of Gen. Patton. Plus if you ever fumbled the ball, you know he would come to your house AND HE WOULD NOT BE HAPPY.

The production values of this video are phenomenal. The blanket hanging in the background says, “Do not fuck with the Knox City Greyhounds!” and the spin at the beginning looks familiar. It doesn’t matter that he refers to somebody as a “defensive tight end.” In fact, I think the Giants might have one of those this year. The important thing is that he’s yelling and the Knox City Greyhounds are the best team in the world! Forget about the Dream Team. In fact, I was surprised to find that our friend wasn’t originally from Philadelphia.

Can you imagine if the Greyhounds made it to the Title Game? We’re going to have to tie the big boy up in a chair underneath an abandoned restaurant with a couple of Baby Ruths. I love the enthusiasm especially for a scrimmage, so I’m adopting the Greyhounds as my official Texas high school football team. Good luck in the scrimmage today, boys, and let’s go Greyhounds!

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