Fastest News In Town

Posted: September 1, 2011 by Keith Stone in media, My9, New York

I was flipping channels last night and I started watching the news on Channel 9, or My9 as the cool kids call it. Let me tell you something about their 10 o’clock news broadcast. It’s hilarious and I’d highly recommend it to anyone who wants to laugh at the news even when it doesn’t involve Sarah Palin. I guess My9 figured that people like their news fast so they start the show with a segment called Nine at 10. They basically read all the big news stories as quickly as they can. It sounds something like this:

“PresidentObamametwithHousedemocratstodaytodiscussreducingtaxesontherich.
Aspokesmansaidtheymadeprogressandtheyplantomeetagaintomorrow.Harry?”

“LocalresidentsarestillreelingoverHurricaneIrene.Therearestill10,000homeswithoutpoweronLongIsland.
GovernorCuomohopestogetallhomesbackbyFriday.”

My9 should really just go all out. Their logo already looks like a bomb. Get the Micro Machines guy to do the news. He could do it in five minutes and we would all get more reruns of The King of Queens.

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