Jabroni of the Week: NYC Shopping Tourists

Posted: September 9, 2011 by Keith Stone in jabronis, tourists

I was just up in Midtown and nothing ever surprises me more than the line outside the Abercrombie & Fitch on 56th St. It’s fucking Abercrombie & Fitch! You can go to one in a mall and it’s completely empty and yet this one is filled more than Sasha Grey’s pussy. I get that clothes are cheaper in America than they are in England or Spain or Brazil or Japan, but who waits on line to get into a clothing store? And who does it when you’re on vacation?

This is New York, the Greatest City in the World. It’s still summer and it’s gorgeous out. There’s literally a million better things to do than buying douchebag hoodies, polos, and jeans. Go to Central Park. Go to a show. Go to the Empire State Building. Just stop snaring up foot traffic. That’s a high volume area. And when you’re waiting on line, stop taking pictures. Nobody wants to see you posing outside of Abercrombie & Fitch. Nobody.

Foreigners, babies, I appreciate you coming to New York. We need your tourism money, but please chill it with the Abercrombie. I know that LFO had a very catchy song that was probably just released in your country, but it’s played out. Do you think you’re too good for Aeropostale or American Eagle? Or maybe can we just get a few Abercrombies in some foreign countries? If you’re coming to America just to do some shopping, you may need to reevaluate things. Or if you really want to get cheap clothes, go where the MKS goes: Canal St. Until then, you’re a jabroni, brothers.

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