If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that you should always believe everything you read on the Internet. Jack Mord is an antiques dealer who has discovered the secret of Nic Cage’s success: he’s an immortal vampire. Mord’s proof is a photo from the 1800’s that he believes depicts Cage. He says that the actor reinvents himself about every 75 years and might eventually come back as “a politician, the leader of a cult, or a talk show host.” Montel Williams, I’m on to you!
Of course Nic Cage is a vampire. How do you think he’s survived all the flops he’s made over the past few years? Mord is now selling the photo on eBay for $1 million, which knowing how obsessed people are with vampires, will probably sell faster than you can say “Team Edward.” Unfortunately for Mord, vampires cannot be photographed. I learned that from an episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark? Also, I don’t think vampires need hair plugs.
Rainman Suite 