WEEK 9 Picks: Stay In Your Lane

Posted: November 5, 2011 by Keith Stone in 2011 NFL Picks, football, NFL


Last week was weird. A lot of games could have gone either way or were skewed by a plethora of defensive and special teams touchdowns. On top of that, the lines are getting better as we know which teams are good and which teams are the Browns. If you guessed right, you may have had a decent week. If you were Keith Stone, you went 3-9. If anybody did great last week, they’re an idiot who had a lucky week. These things have a tendency to straighten themselves out.

If you were doing well before the ridiculousness of WEEK 8, keep doing the same thing. Don’t change your thinking because of one fluky week where certain teams didn’t bother to show up. If you have lucky underwear, keep wearing them. For me, I blame my horrible week on the fact that I let a chick make one of my picks. Sometimes when you get too cocky, you anger the gambling gods. Just remember Judge Karen’s advice.

FALCONS (-6.5) AT COLTS
Stone: Falcons

Slumdeezy: Falcons
Somehow I think the Colts will get a win this season, with or without a return of the better Manning.  BUT I’m tired of wasting picks on them every week for the unlikely bragging rights for when that lightning does strike.

Rory: Falcons
I’m picking against the Colts until they cover a spread.  And even then, I’ll still probably pick against them.

DP Animal: Falcons

Phanatic: Falcons

BUCCANEERS AT SAINTS (-8.5)
Stone: Buccaneers
That spread is bigger than Gabourey Sidibe doing a split.

Slumdeezy: Saints

Rory: Buccaneers
Don’t feel good about this at all.

DP Animal: Buccaneers
While it’s probable that last week’s loss to the Rams was just one of those fluky things that happens in the NFL from time to time, I don’t know that I trust the Saints with that big of a spread, especially since Tampa beat them all of three weeks ago.

Phanatic: Saints
Will get out their frustrations from last week.

BROWNS AT TEXANS (-10.5)
Stone: Texans

Slumdeezy: Texans

Rory: Texans
I feel the Texans can beat up on crappy teams.

DP Animal: Browns
With Andre Johnson looking somewhat unlikely to play this week, I like the Browns to keep this one close.

Phanatic: Browns

JETS AT BILLS (-1.5)
Stone: Jets
The Jets always play better when they’re under pressure.

Slumdeezy: Bills

Rory: Bills
This is a true test for both teams.

DP Animal: Bills
I’m excited for this game.  It’s a chance to see how the Buffalo offense looks against a legitimately very good defense, and it’s a game that could go a long way towards determining who wins the AFC East.

Phanatic: Bills
Totally made this pick with my heart not my brain.

DOLPHINS AT CHIEFS (-3.5)
Stone: Chiefs

Slumdeezy: Chiefs

Rory: Chiefs
I miss basketball.

DP Animal: Chiefs
The four-game winning streak masks the fact that the Chiefs still aren’t playing all that well, and have been extremely lucky, as evidenced on Monday night.

Phanatic: Chiefs

49ERS (-3.5) AT REDSKINS
Stone: 49ers

Slumdeezy: 49ers

Rory: 49ers
This line seems deceptively low.

DP Animal: 49ers

Phanatic: 49ers
Redskins finally got tired and started showing their true colors.

SEAHAWKS AT COWBOYS (-11.5)
Stone: Cowboys

Slumdeezy: Cowboys

Rory: Cowboys
Speak of two awful teams, it’s a shame we got to miss the Heat/Knicks game this week.

DP Animal: Seahawks
Even though it didn’t work out, I’m glad Pete Carroll went for the TD at the end of the first half against the Bengals.  The difference between being down 17-3 and 17-6 doesn’t feel all the meaingful, but getting a TD and being down only 17-10, about to get the ball to start the second half? That’s something you can build on.

Phanatic: Seahawks
Too big of a spread.

BRONCOS AT RAIDERS (-7.5)
Stone: Broncos
Missing Run-DMC again hurts.

Slumdeezy: Raiders
Debated a while. Wanted to throw Tebow a bone, but can’t risk another pick based on sentiment (See GIANTS).

Rory: Broncos
Tebow!

DP Animal: Raiders
Pre-marital sex > Tebow.

Phanatic: Broncos

BENGALS AT TITANS (-2.5)
Stone: Bengals

Slumdeezy: Titans

Rory: Bengals
Red Rocket!

DP Animal: Bengals
Can’t we just pretend that Chris Johnson was on the cover of Madden 12, and that explains his horrific play this year?

Phanatic: Titans

RAMS AT CARDINALS (-3.5)
Stone: Rams
I can;t believe I’m about to say this, but I think the loss of Kevin Kolb is going to be too much for the Cards to overcome.

Slumdeezy: Rams

Rory: Cardinals
Damn you, Cardinals.  Damn you.

DP Animal: Rams
Amazingly, in a battle between AJ Feeley and John Skelton, I’m taking Feeley!

Phanatic: Rams

GIANTS AT PATRIOTS (-8.5)
Stone: Giants
18-1.

Slumdeezy: Giants
I was there in 2007 when the Patriots beat the Giants to go 16-0.  What happened the next few weeks is glorious history, and as a Giants fan, I’ll probably never witness a sweeter playoff run.  I wanted to go back to all those Pats fans that gave me grief at Giants Stadium and give them a bit of their own Charlie Brown medicine.  For that reason alone, go G-MEN!

Rory: Patriots
I didn’t feel good about the Giants win last week.

DP Animal: Giants
Too big of a spread for a Patriots defense that can’t seem to stop anyone these days.

Phanatic: Patriots

PACKERS (-5.5) AT CHARGERS
Stone: Chargers
The Packers are due for a letdown and the Chargers are sure to come out firing after their Monday Night debacle.

Slumdeezy: Packers
This could have been a game of the week contender if the Packers weren’t so invincible.

Rory: Packers
Why not?

DP Animal: Packers

Phanatic: Packers

RAVENS AT STEELERS (-3.5)
Stone: Steelers

Slumdeezy: Ravens
Game of the week. I’m intrigued by the Bills v Jets, but given that the Ravens are the only team to beat the Steelers convincingly this year, this game should be nasty.

Rory: Ravens

DP Animal: Ravens
I figure the Ravens will complete the season sweep, get home field advantage…and still lose to the Steelers in the playoffs.

Phanatic: Steelers
But I sure hope the Ravens (finally) come to play.

BEARS AT DREAM TEAM (-7.5)
Stone: Bears
I’m pinning my hopes on the Michael Vick throwing 45 times.

Slumdeezy: Dream Team
Realistically, both teams have only loss to really solid competition, but I go Dream Team.  Although the  moniker may not fit anymore, the Dream Team is still dangerous and should have some serious momentum after last week’s victory over the Vaqueros.

Rory: Bears

DP Animal: Dream Team
It seems the Eagles spent their bye week remembering that in order to win football games, you have to block people on offense and tackle them on defense.  That Andy Reid is a genius!

Phanatic: Dream Team

CURRENT STANDINGS
Stone: 65-48 (Last week: 3-9)
Rory: 61-52 (7-5)
Slumdeezy: 59-54 (7-5)
Phanatic: 55-58 (5-7)
DP Animal: 54-59 (7-5)

Last Week’s Picks

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