Jabroni of the Week: Lisa Gay

Posted: November 13, 2011 by Keith Stone in jabronis, Lisa Gay, Mel Gibson, the kids

There’s nothing worse than spreading rumors about your friends. “Keith slept with a fat girl!” No, that would never happen. Luckily, nobody has ever accused me of getting knocked up by Mel Gibson. Rumorfix is reporting that a friend of Secrets of Aspen “star” Laura Bellizzi claims that Bellizzi is pregnant with Mel’s 12th (I think) child.

Lisa Gay’s ridiculous statement reads, “Laura is super excited to be pregnant with Mel Gibson’s baby! She already has three daughters of her own and she knows how to be a great mom. Laura is presently five months pregnant with Mel Gibson’s baby. Laura has shared many sacred moments of her pregnancy with me including the sonogram that revealed Mel Gibson’s child will be a girl. She is already in love with her baby girl she is just overjoyed and sees this baby as a new light for her life.”

The only problem is that both Gibson and Bellizi have denied this. They apparently dated over the summer, which is bad enough if you’re Lisa Bellizi. I’m sure she doesn’t want people to think that she’s carrying Mad Max’s demon child and he’s going to be demanding blow jobs and kicking the shit out of her while the kid is growing up. Maybe she is. At least she’s going to be getting a fat paycheck. The important thing is that nobody knows. Lisa Gay is totally blowing up her shit.

Lisa, baby, your statement is bad enough. You’d be the world’s worst publicist but instead it seems like you’re the world’s worst friend. Forget about the fact that you only describe the child as “Mel Gibson’s baby” like he lent her a car or something. Do you realize that Mel Gibson is one of the worst human beings on the planet? He hates Jews. He hates women. You make it sound like she’s been impregnated by the second coming of Gandhi or Will Smith or something.

That is, unless this is all part of a devious plan. Maybe you secretly hate Laura Bellizi and this is your way of making her look like a fool in public. If it is, you are a very underhanded individual. I like it. I’d never want to be friends with you but you could probably spend some time with Queen James down in South Beach. Either way, good luck and hopefully you won’t be Mel Gibson’s child’s Godmother. Until then, you’re a jabroni, brother.

Zap2It

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