Jabroni of the Week: Sharron Smalls

Posted: December 4, 2011 by Keith Stone in jabronis, school, the kids

Sharron Smalls may be the worst high school principal ever. Her students at Jane Addams High School in danger of not graduating because of her ridiculous plan to give kids credits for classes they didn’t take. For instance, geography credits were given to students taking a tourism class and chemistry credits were given for a cosmetology class. Smalls did this to boost the numbers for her school and the Department of Education still rated it an F.

This Principal Smalls must be really popular around the school. Once word leaked about her course credit scam, teachers revealed that she made them pay to park in the school’s parking lot. The school’s own parking lot! It’s not like they’re investment bankers, they’re teachers at one of the worst schools in the city. Of course, nobody knows where that money went. Probably supplemented Principal Smalls’s $140,000 salary. Yeah, you read that right. The principal at an F-rated school makes six digits.

Her students aren’t too pleased with her either, obviously, so they did what any aggrieved, enterprising high school students would do. They went on her Facebook page and sent a picture of her getting her freak on with a shirtless dude while getting covered in chocolate to all the newspapers. Ironically, it seems that Principal Smalls has a strict dress code at Jane Addams. No pants below the butt, no skirts above the knee, and no chocolate sauce.

Sharron, baby, you should know better than this. You can’t let kids play basketball for 45 minutes and call it physics class. That sounds like something out of one of Zack Morris’s dreams. If the kids need math credits, you should have just had some substitute teacher come in and teach them the times tables.

Now these kids might have to come in for summer school to earn their diplomas, and that’s pretty much the worst thing ever. Well, it’s even worse since it’s your fault, and you’re wildly overpaid. Hope you’ve been saving. Maybe you can run the education program at whatever prison you end up at. Just remember that you don’t get a chemistry credit for making toilet wine. Until then, you’re a jabroni, brother.

NY Daily News

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