WEEK 17 is always the most impossible week to make picks. The NFL did a good job making every team play a divisional rival and making sure teams are playing at the same time as other squads close to them in the standings. Still, does anyone know how much the Texans are going to bring with the 3-seed locked up? What about the Packers? Is Aaron Rodgers going to be worrying more about the Lions or photobombing the captains’ picture? Even teams like the Dream Team. They’re really playing well but a loss would ensure a decent draft pick and easier schedule. You would think these guys would have enough pride to give it all they’ve got, but I’d be thinking about hitting the links too if I was on a 5-10 team. Gamble at your own risk. Picks!
REDSKINS AT DREAM TEAM (-8.5)
Stone: Dream Team
Finally showing their true potential.
Slumdeezy: Dream Team
Rory: Redskins
DP Animal: Redskins
Phanatic: Dream Team
Last time to show their Dream Team potential now that it’s too late.
49ERS (-10.5) AT RAMS
Stone: 49ers
The Rams are the worst team in the NFL. It would be a bummer if they didn’t get the #1 pick.
Slumdeezy: Rams
Rory: 49ers
DP Animal: 49ers
Phanatic: Rams
BEARS AT VIKINGS (-1.5)
Stone: Bears
Who’s watching this game?
Slumdeezy: Vikings
Rory: Bears
DP Animal: Bears
Phanatic: Bears
Poor Vikings fans and poor Adrian Peterson. This is the final blow to a disappointment to say the least.
LIONS (-3.5) AT PACKERS
Stone: Lions
The Packers losing a game was a blessing in disguise for them.
Slumdeezy: Lions
Rory: Lions
DP Animal: Lions
Phanatic: Lions
vs. the Pack back-ups.
PANTHERS AT SAINTS (-8.5)
Stone: Panthers
The Saints will start resting guys the Niners start pulling away from the Rams.
Slumdeezy: Saints
Rory: Saints
DP Animal: Saints
Phanatic: Panthers
TITANS (-2.5) AT TEXANS
Stone: Texans
Even with the 3-seed locked up, the Texans will want to head into the playoffs with momentum.
Slumdeezy: Texans
Rory: Titans
DP Animal: Titans
Phanatic: Titans
COLTS AT JAGUARS (-3.5)
Stone:Colts
Dumbasses.
Slumdeezy: Jaguars
Rory: Jaguars
DP Animal: Colts
Phanatic: Colts
JETS AT DOLPHINS (-1.5)
Stone: Jets
They’ll probably end up making the playoffs anyway.
Slumdeezy: Jets
Rory: Jets
DP Animal: Dolphins
Phanatic: Jets
BILLS AT PATRIOTS (-11.5)
Stone: Patriots
Oh hey, look it’s the Bills’ 2011 highlight video
Slumdeezy: Bills
Rory: Patriots
DP Animal: Bills
Phanatic: Patriots
BUCCANEERS AT FALCONS (-11.5)
Stone: Falcons
The Bucs are ready to hit the Mons Venus.
Slumdeezy: Buccaneers
Rory: Falcons
DP Animal: Buccaneers
Phanatic: Buccaneers
This is a crazy line.
RAVENS (-2.5) AT BENGALS
Stone: Ravens
If they don’t show up now, when will they?
Slumdeezy: Bengals
Rory: Bengals
DP Animal: Ravens
Phanatic: Bengals
CHARGERS AT RAIDERS (-2.5)
Stone: Chargers
Bye Norv!
Slumdeezy: Chargers
Rory: Raiders
DP Animal: Chargers
Phanatic: Raiders
CHIEFS AT BRONCOS (-2.5)
Stone: Broncos
In dramatic fashion, I’m sure.
Slumdeezy: Broncos
Rory: Broncos
DP Animal: Chiefs
Phanatic: Broncos
SEAHAWKS AT CARDINALS (-2.5)
Stone: Cardinals
I think I’m going to take Rory’s girl out to dinner to celebrate my victory.
Slumdeezy: Cardinals
Rory: Cardinals
DP Animal: Seahawks
Phanatic: Seahawks
STEELERS (-6.5) AT BROWNS
Stone: Steelers
What’s wrong with this franchise?
Slumdeezy: Steelers
Rory: Steelers
DP Animal: Steelers
Phanatic: Steelers
COWBOYS AT GIANTS (-2.5)
Stone: Giants
You know what it is.
Slumdeezy: Giants
Let’s start this year right.
Rory: Giants
DP Animal: Giants
Phanatic: Giants
I wish I could check the box for “no one wins.” [Editor’s note: wahhhhhhhhhhhhh!]
CURRENT RECORDS
Stone: 133-101 (Last week: 9-7)
Rory: 129-105 (8-8)
Slumdeezy: 120-114 (7-9)
Phanatic: 117-117 (11-5)
DP Animal: 112-122 (6-10)
