On the surface, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ vacant head coaching spot would seem like a choice job. They’re a team with a good young quarterback a year removed from a 10-6 season and they play in the city that isn’t freezing in the winter and doubles as the strip club capital of the year. Perhaps this year’s struggles could be attributed to their young and relatively inexperienced coach, Raheem Morris. All they need is somebody with a winning pedigree. That’s why I continue to be in shock by the candidates that are being mentioned for the job.
Marty Schottenheimer is the king of playoff disappointments. Brad Childress’s run in Minnesota was one debacle after another. Wade Phillips makes Chad McGee look like Vince Lombardi. Wade Phillips decided he’d rather stay the defensive coordinator in Houston than go after the Bucs’ position. Wade Phillips!!!! That’s like the fat girl turning you down for the prom. I don’t get the rationale behind trotting out these also-rans for any head coaching position. It’s like, “Hey, this guy’s failed everywhere he’s coached. Let’s hire him!” You don’t say, “My friend Jim got food poisoning from that restaurant. Let’s eat there!”
I think we’ve learned that the trick in hiring a successful head football coach is to go after bright young coordinators (Sean Payton, Mike Tomlin) or guys that exceed expectations but ultimately fail for various reasons and need a change of scenery (Tom Coughlin-meanness, Dick Vermeil-crying). NOTE TO NFL TEAMS: DO NOT HIRE COACHES THAT HAVE CHOKED AWAY BIG PLAYOFF GAMES (Brad Childress, Marty Schottenheimer). Good luck finding a new coach, Tampa Bay. At least you have the Mons Venus.
Rainman Suite 