“Ya didn’t say go, man. I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready.”
Billed as a Karate Kid for the 90’s, Sidekicks was 100 times better if only because the central plot revolved around Chuck Norris. Not Chuck Norris playing a character. Chuck Norris as himself. With Jonathan Brandis (RIP!) playing the Daniel-san role, the plot is almost exactly the same, except that fake Daniel-san is obsessed with the man who can cure cancer with his tears (it’s too bad he never cries). When it comes time for the climactic tournament, fake Daniel-san’s team doesn’t have enough members. But that’s OK because Chuck Norris brought his gear and would gladly like to randomly compete in a karate competition. His opponent? Out of New Jersey, a svelte (chemically enhanced) Joe Piscopo, whose character might be the most cartoonish baddie in movie history, something like a cross between Elmer Fudd and Kim Jong-Il. Props to Joe for bringing subtlety and nuance to the role. Alas, he was no match for Chuck Norris.
Rainman Suite 