Posts Tagged ‘videos’

“Sometimes a winner is a dreamer who just won’t quit.”

Who better to take us into the Golden Domes vs. mobile homes matchup in the BCS National Championship Game tonight than Rudy Ruettiger? Poor Rudy was too small and didn’t have the grades to play at Notre Dame, they said. But, golly gee, he worked hard and said his prayers and he made it. So basically Rudy is the exact opposite of every player who’s going to see action tonight.

These two teams might actually represent the worst of college football’s programs and fanbases. One the one hand, there’s Mr. Popped Collar Notre Dame. “Excuse me, we don’t need to play in a conference with other teams. How could any team be listed in the same standings as a fine Catholic institution such as Notre Dame? Our alumni and hangers-on are so crazed with goodness and reverence that they will gladly spend all the cash they made in the market to help our team win. Also, the past 20 years never happened. WE ARE BETTER THAN YOU.”

Then, on the other hand, there’s a lot of missing teeth. “Yeeeeeeeeeeeehaw, we gon drink Natty Lights and play cornhole all day. I just gotta make sure not to pass out before the big game. Y’all think Rudy is a classy feller? Well, Coach Saban is such a classy feller, I named my first born son after him. Daggone right, and when little Coach Saban Billy Bob Schrader turns 18 or learns how to read, he’s gon go to the University of Alerbama. Coach Saban will definitely still be coaching the team then! Now where did my cousin, I mean, wife go? Roll Tide!”

If there was a douchebag fan scale, these teams wouldn’t be on the scale, they would be the scale. But yeah, Saban is a dick, so there’s only three words to say tonight: RUDY! RUDY! RUDY!

Ahhhh, the greatest Thanksgiving tradition of all. No, not turkey, family, or football — it’s wrasslin’. Or at least it used to be. The Survivor Series took place on Thanksgiving from 1987-1990. In the spirit of things, the intro to Survivor Series ’89 features the wrestlers and exactly what they are thankful for. The answers, as you can imagine, are pretty interesting and range from “polka dots” (Dusty Rhodes) to “sardine stuffing” (the Bushwhackers) to “weqjerkljfdksjfdklfjds” (Ultimate Warrior). The cherry on top of it all is Vince McMahon’s spirited announcing of every single Survivor Series participant. Oh, how I long for the days of a full card of elimination tag-team matches complete with team captains and goofy team names.

In honor of Marty Brodeur, here’s the trailer to Free Willy, the biographical movie based on his life. As is the case with Hollywood, the screenwriters took liberties with the plot but the basic premise is the same: a whale escapes from captivity to become goaltender for the Devils, cheats on his wife with his sister-in-law, you know the rest. Of course, the big difference is that the real-life Marty eats a lot more than Willy.

Thinking back to Brock Lesnar’s first stint in the WWF, one moment sticks out. Not the botched shooting star press at Wrestlemania XIX or getting booed on his way out the door at Wrestlemania XX, but a match against the Big Show on Smackdown. Why’s that, you ask? Because his superplex off the top rope literally collapsed the ring. It’s an incredible physical feat, especially when you see how much bigger the Big Show is than him. With Lesnar’s eventful first month back in the books, let’s hope he has a lot more moments like this.

The last time the Rangers played in a Game 7 at the Garden was the final game of the 1994 season, as they skated away with the Stanley Cup. John Amirante kicked off the proceedings in a way only he can, with an absolutely amazing rendition of the National Anthem that was nearly drowned out by the delirious crowd. If his performance is 10% of that today, we’ll be well on our way to another Game 7 to remember.

I’m in Miami for the Showcase of the Immortals, or as you might know it Wrestlemania XXVIII. Things are going to be a little light this week but hopefully there will be plenty to report back on. The main event event is The Rock vs. John Cena, an epic clash between two men who represent different eras in wrestling. The last time we saw a battle like this was 10 years ago, when the Rock was the current star and he faced off against Hollywood Hulk Hogan. The crowd at the Skydome was insane that night and hopefully the atmosphere will be just as charged on Sunday.

Slobberknocker: Empty Arena Match

Posted: March 23, 2012 by Keith Stone in videos
Tags: , , , , ,

Smackdown Hotel, corner of Know Your Role Boulevard and Jabroni Drive. No, Mankind can’t talk. He’s a little tied up right now.

With Wrestlemania less than two weeks away, there’s no better time to look back at some of the classic matches the Rock has had. The Empty Arena Match against Mankind has to be right at the top. Shown during halftime of Super Bowl XXXIII and filmed in an empty Tucson Arena, the duo battled their way in a falls count anywhere contest for the WWF Title. In 20 minutes, just about everything you could ask for in a match occurs. McMahon returning to the commentary table and simultaneously shilling for the WWF and rooting for the Rock in the most homoerotic way possible. Mankind falling down several sets of stairs. The Rock shoving Mankind into an oven and asking, “Can you smell what the Rock is cooking?” Mankind attacking the Rock with a bag of popcorn. All the while, Earl Hebner barely cracks a smile while the Rock is putting together a comedic performance that rivals Jim Carrey in the 80’s. Classic ending too with some fantastic camera work. Nobody but these two guys could pull off quite a match.