Posts Tagged ‘Trailer Park’


“Sometimes a winner is a dreamer who just won’t quit.”

Who better to take us into the Golden Domes vs. mobile homes matchup in the BCS National Championship Game tonight than Rudy Ruettiger? Poor Rudy was too small and didn’t have the grades to play at Notre Dame, they said. But, golly gee, he worked hard and said his prayers and he made it. So basically Rudy is the exact opposite of every player who’s going to see action tonight.

These two teams might actually represent the worst of college football’s programs and fanbases. One the one hand, there’s Mr. Popped Collar Notre Dame. “Excuse me, we don’t need to play in a conference with other teams. How could any team be listed in the same standings as a fine Catholic institution such as Notre Dame? Our alumni and hangers-on are so crazed with goodness and reverence that they will gladly spend all the cash they made in the market to help our team win. Also, the past 20 years never happened. WE ARE BETTER THAN YOU.”

Then, on the other hand, there’s a lot of missing teeth. “Yeeeeeeeeeeeehaw, we gon drink Natty Lights and play cornhole all day. I just gotta make sure not to pass out before the big game. Y’all think Rudy is a classy feller? Well, Coach Saban is such a classy feller, I named my first born son after him. Daggone right, and when little Coach Saban Billy Bob Schrader turns 18 or learns how to read, he’s gon go to the University of Alerbama. Coach Saban will definitely still be coaching the team then! Now where did my cousin, I mean, wife go? Roll Tide!”

If there was a douchebag fan scale, these teams wouldn’t be on the scale, they would be the scale. But yeah, Saban is a dick, so there’s only three words to say tonight: RUDY! RUDY! RUDY!

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In honor of Marty Brodeur, here’s the trailer to Free Willy, the biographical movie based on his life. As is the case with Hollywood, the screenwriters took liberties with the plot but the basic premise is the same: a whale escapes from captivity to become goaltender for the Devils, cheats on his wife with his sister-in-law, you know the rest. Of course, the big difference is that the real-life Marty eats a lot more than Willy.

Trailer Park: Bending the Rules

Posted: March 2, 2012 by Keith Stone in videos
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I have a new policy. Anytime WWE Studios releases the trailer of one of its “movies,” it’s going in the Trailer Park faster than you can cook up a batch of crystal meth. Their latest foray into “film making” is Bending the Rules “starring” Edge and Jamie Kennedy. Edge “portrays” Blades who appears to be an easygoing, dimwitted police officer who doesn’t mind bending the rules (get it?) while Kennedy “plays” an uptight, straitlaced lawyer who’s forced to embark on a case with Blades. See how that works. They’re opposites. Honestly, I think Edge has potential but maybe as a secondary character paired with a legit actor who can raise his game. It’s like wrestling. Unfortunately, Jamie Kennedy is the Brooklyn Brawler.

Trailer Park: Groundhog Day

Posted: February 2, 2012 by Keith Stone in videos
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Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow today. I don’t know what that means. Six more weeks of weather or something. More importantly, they don’t make movies like Groundhog Day anymore. If it was made today, it would star Ben Affleck and he would turn into a superhero twenty minutes in. Then they would make four sequels, reinvent the series, and make four more sequels. Groundhog Day has such a simple, interesting concept. What would you do if everyday was exactly the same? I’d make Kate Upton my Andy MacDowell. I’m sure it wouldn’t be as hard as having to take French lessons over and over. Also, gambling. Lots of gambling.

Trailer Park: Groundhog Day

Posted: February 2, 2012 by Keith Stone in videos
Tags: , ,


Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow today. I don’t know what that means. Six more weeks of weather or something. More importantly, they don’t make movies like Groundhog Day anymore. If it was made today, it would star Ben Affleck and he would turn into a superhero twenty minutes in. Then they would make four sequels, reinvent the series, and make four more sequels. Groundhog Day has such a simple, interesting concept. What would you do if everyday was exactly the same? I’d make Kate Upton my Andy MacDowell. I’m sure it wouldn’t be as hard as having to take French lessons over and over. Also, gambling. Lots of gambling.

Trailer Park: Groundhog Day

Posted: February 2, 2012 by Keith Stone in videos
Tags: , ,


Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow today. I don’t know what that means. Six more weeks of weather or something. More importantly, they don’t make movies like Groundhog Day anymore. If it was made today, it would star Ben Affleck and he would turn into a superhero twenty minutes in. Then they would make four sequels, reinvent the series, and make four more sequels. Groundhog Day has such a simple, interesting concept. What would you do if everyday was exactly the same? I’d make Kate Upton my Andy MacDowell. I’m sure it wouldn’t be as hard as having to take French lessons over and over. Also, gambling. Lots of gambling.

Trailer Park: The Devil Inside

Posted: January 19, 2012 by Keith Stone in videos
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Talk about falling off a cliff. Despite a really cool trailer and a strong premise, The Devil Inside had one of the worst endings I can ever remember. SPOILER ALERT: the demon causes our heroes to get into a car accident. When I saw it, the entire theater was genuinely shocked and upset that it was over. It was like the opposite of a night with the MKS. The added kicker was that the movie itself was good, almost too good. It breezed along so quickly nobody was really expecting to see the end credits. It almost seemed like the filmmakers ran out money and decided to just kill everyone with the remaining film they had left. Despite getting a CinemaScore of F (the first of any movie in nearly two years), The Devil Inside still managed to win its opening weekend. Let’s hope the sequel picks up where this one left off.