Rainman Suite

If you’re in a tight spot and need cash quick, who else would you turn to but a single mom who has 12 kids when she should have been sterilized? That’s right, the Octomom herself Nadya Suleman is now pushing loans through the aptly-named company Octo Loan. What genius thought it would be a good idea to start a lending network around somebody who was so irresponsible with her money she had to turn to stripping and porn to put food on the table? It must be the same guy who was behind Ric Flair Finance (yes, it was a real company but it’s not anymore—woooooooooooo!). Hopefully, this is a front by some sort of government agency to get rid of anybody stupid enough to get money advice from the Octomom. If I never need tips on lip injections or fertility treatments, I’m calling the Octomom. Anything else is probably a bad idea.