Posts Tagged ‘dinero’

The Downfall of Western Civilization

Posted: August 13, 2012 by Keith Stone in WTF
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If you’re in a tight spot and need cash quick, who else would you turn to but a single mom who has 12 kids when she should have been sterilized? That’s right, the Octomom herself Nadya Suleman is now pushing loans through the aptly-named company Octo Loan. What genius thought it would be a good idea to start a lending network around somebody who was so irresponsible with her money she had to turn to stripping and porn to put food on the table? It must be the same guy who was behind Ric Flair Finance (yes, it was a real company but it’s not anymore—woooooooooooo!). Hopefully, this is a front by some sort of government agency to get rid of anybody stupid enough to get money advice from the Octomom. If I never need tips on lip injections or fertility treatments, I’m calling the Octomom. Anything else is probably a bad idea.

Not A Good Day For Goldman Sachs

Posted: March 14, 2012 by Keith Stone in news
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The investment bank, Goldman Sachs, quite possibly the most renowned on Wall St., was rocked today by an op-ed piece in the New York Times by a resigning manager, Greg Smith. Smith claimed that the culture of the company had changed during his tenure and that employees were no longer looking out for their clients and were instead taking advantage of them. Pretty much sums up the finance industry and the economic collapse. Here are a few excerpts from what Smith wrote:

To put the problem in the simplest terms, the interests of the client continue to be sidelined in the way the firm operates and thinks about making money. Goldman Sachs is one of the world’s largest and most important investment banks and it is too integral to global finance to continue to act this way.

I knew it was time to leave when I realized I could no longer look students in the eye and tell them what a great place this was to work.

It makes me ill how callously people talk about ripping their clients off.

It astounds me how little senior management gets a basic truth: If clients don’t trust you they will eventually stop doing business with you. It doesn’t matter how smart you are.

The last quote is the most important because after Goldman sent an email to all its employees basically giving lip service about how everyone cares so very deeply about their clients, the firm lost $2.15 billion in value after its stock price fell 3.4%. Oof. That’s what people need to learn. It doesn’t matter how much money you make in the short-term, if you don’t treat your customers fairly, it’s going to come back and bite you in the ass tenfold. Props to Greg Smith for having the guts to sacrifice his career and say what needed to be said. It’s a lot easier to sit back and say nothing and keep raking it in than do what’s right. If guys like him were in charge, the economy wouldn’t be in a ditch, like it was being driven by a Mets bullpen catcher.


I love Commissioner Goodell. He must have balls the size of a head of lettuce. Dude does whatever the fuck he wants. Hit too hard? Fined. Possible fight at a bar? Fined. Offensive tweet? Fined. His latest move is the best. He reduced the amount of money the Cowboys and Redskins could spend against the salary cap a combined $46 million for abusing the uncapped 2010 year. Specifically, Dallas has $10 million less to spend while Washington has a whopping $36 million less, however, the charges can be split for the next two seasons. Again, the 2010 season had no salary cap so theoretically teams could pay players as much as they wanted. For instance, Miles Austin got a ridiculous $17 million that season but only made $8.5 last year. You can see how it circumvented the cap in the second year.

I have no idea how the salary cap works so I’m not going to pretend to explain any more, but this is hilarious especially because the two teams are perhaps the most heinous in the NFL. Can you imagine how pissed Dan Snyder is right now? He just traded everything and the kitchen sink for RG3 but now has no money to sign anybody to play with him. If I was a billionaire prick like Snyder or Jerry Jones, of course I’d be going nuts during the uncapped year. The point of an uncapped year is to spend money. But now the Commish says they spent too much, and it’s time to pay up. Imagine getting busted for something you did in the past. Hey, did you drive while chatting on a cell phone in 2003? Better not let the Commish find out.