Archive for the ‘Arnold Schwarzenegger’ Category

Hasta La Vista, Cowboy

Posted: July 13, 2011 by Keith Stone in Arnold Schwarzenegger, movies, The Last Stand
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Arnold Schwarzenegger has confirmed his first film role following his infidelity scandal and stint as Governor of California. He will be starring in The Last Stand, an old-fashioned western. I know that when I think of the Wild West, the first thing that comes into my head are Austrian bodybuilders. Arnold hasn’t had a non-Terminator hit since 1997’s Batman and Robin and let’s just say that it didn’t win any Oscars.

It seems like a smart, calculated move to come back in a gritty, under-the-radar action movie and it’s also hilarious to think of Arnold in a Western. That’s one of my favorite things about all of his movies. Not only is his accent never acknowledged, but he’s always made to be such an ordinary All-American guy. He’s just LAPD Detective John Kimble who’s going to teach kindergarten for a little bit! Who better to teach 5-year-olds than somebody with a thick accent? I was watching Total Recall last night (which is fucking awesome) where he plays Doug Quaid, a 22nd century construction worker who’s married to Sharon Stone. Just for once, can he play a character named Gunther Gufstafson or even have a backstory that he moved from Germany to hunt the man that killed his father? I get the feeling that it’s not going to be that way in The Last Stand.

Huffington Post

Meet Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Baby Mama

Posted: May 19, 2011 by Keith Stone in Arnold Schwarzenegger, the kids
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When I heard that Arnold Schwarzenegger knocked up one of his housekeepers, I assumed she would be an absolute cherry bomb like Eva Mendes. Mildred Baena is unfortunately not. This is actually the worst part of the scandal. If this chick was somewhat decent looking, people would be like, “What did you expect from Arnold Schwarzengger?” Instead it’s like, “Holy shit, Arnold ruined his marriage with a chick that looks like she’s from Fraggle Rock.”

Let this be a lesson to you out there, ladies. Maria Shriver is a pretty hot MILF. She’s smart, American royalty, and again she’s very attractive for a 55-year-old lady, but if you don’t put out, your men will fuck everything in sight. Even the overweight Mexican housekeeper. Maybe Arnold needed to get a workout in on the fly so he decided to bench the housekeeper. With his penis. Here’s a fun fact: Tom Brokaw introduced Arnold to Maria Shriver. This is all your fault, Brokaw!