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The kids over at Brazzers miss Charlie Sheen, presumably because he’s not paying them thousands of dollars to come party with him. So they did what any spurned lover would do: put together a video saying how much they missed him. WINNER!
Britney Banxxx looks so sad.
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Let’s see what’s going on at the Sober Valley Lodge.
Face it folks, you just feel better when you say it. #WINNING
Hmmmmm…..Let’s see…..WINNING! Actually feels pretty good. Charlie is following Rob Pattinson, Sylvester Stallone, Nicky Hilton, George Lopez, Fred Durst, Nick Swisher, Piers Morgan, and Minka Kelly. WINNING!
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I’ve been spending my time doing market research on the millions (AND MILLIONS!) of Suite readers out there. The thing I learned is you people love new segments, so here’s one for all y’all. In The Suite, we like winners and there’s no bigger winner out there than Charlie Sheen. He started a Twitter account today. It’s the greatest thing since Hot Shots Part Deux (bloodiest movie ever) so without further ado, here is the Charlie Sheen Tweet of the Day. BRING IT!
Just got invited to do the Nancy Grace show… I’d rather go on a long road trip with Chuck Lorre in a ’75 Pacer….
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Charlie Sheen boldly text messaged from the Bahamas that he is in negotiations with HBO for his own half-hour show cleverly titled Sheen’s Corner. It appears to be some sort of talk show. This comes after production on Two and a Half Men was shut down for the remainder of the season. Sheen’s deal with HBO will reportedly be in the neighborhood of $5 million an episode for 10 episodes. That does not sound like a good idea at all. Sheen texted, “It will be epic, all types of guests, and we will focus on the truth and the absurd!”
I don’t have HBO but you better believe I’ll be getting it for Sheen’s Corner. Can you imagine? “Good night folks. Coming up on our next show, my brother Emilio Estevez joins us to convince me to go to rehab. I will also be joined by porn star Lanny Barby, who I’m about to smoke crack with backstage. Plus the musical stylings of Michael Buble. Stay tuned!” Still can’t be more of a train wreck than The Magic Hour.
[Editor’s note: I just Googled Lanny Barby to get a correct spelling — yes, I’m a dork — and although her official website is lanniebarbie.com, the site has her name spelled Lanny, which is what Wikipedia has. Can we get a judge’s ruling?]
Rainman Suite 