Archive for the ‘dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum’ Category

>Britney Spears: Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum

Posted: April 8, 2011 by Keith Stone in Britney Spears, dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum
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I was watching Britney’s video for ‘Till the World Ends and I realized that she still has it. Maybe the blonde hair and red outfit harkened back to Oops!…I Did It Again (which by the way is a great song) and took me back to another time before she became a train wreck and had kids with Kevin Federline. Whatever it is, I know now that true beauty can never be completely lost and with the help of digital editing, any chick can be as hot as they were when they were 19 and their ass was a cherry bomb. Britney, babe, your lyrics are cornier than ever but this feels like paradise and I need a vacation tonight. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

>Candice Swanepoel: Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum

Posted: April 1, 2011 by Keith Stone in Candice Swanepoel, dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum
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The Daily News wrote a very unflattering article today about how Victoria’s Secret model Candice Swanepoel is too skinny. Not surprisingly, the article was written by a woman. The Suite always stands up for the little guy and it’s time for all the fat bitches out there to stop picking on the models. They have feelings too (probably). Young Candice here doesn’t have a problem. She likely eats at least twice a day, if coffee counts. That’s the right amount in my book. Candice, The Suite loves you for who you are inside and out. Hopefully, on the inside one of these days. Just don’t get fat. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

>Amber Lancaster: Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum

Posted: March 24, 2011 by Keith Stone in Amber Lancaster, dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum, RJ Berger
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Amber Lancaster plays Jenny on The Hard Times of RJ Berger, possibly the most underrated show on TV. I’d watch any show Amber was on even if it was a piece of garbage, but RJ Berger actually delivers. Its second season premiere is tonight on MTV so there’s no time like now to hop on the bandwagon. The show follows nerd RJ Berger and his best friend Miles as they navigate life at Pinkerton High School. RJ, however, is a sweet guy blessed with a tremendous gift: a donkey dick. The show is funny and the writing is smart. The characters actually talk like normal human beings. It’s not just gags and puns for 30 minutes. Plus, there’s Amber. If only I was six inches bigger. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

>Vanessa Hudgens: Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum

Posted: March 18, 2011 by Keith Stone in dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum, Vanessa Hudgens
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You know how I know Zac Efron is gay? He dumped a sexy little freak like Vanessa Hudgens. This week, another naked pic of Vanessa was released. Of course, by the time I found out about it, it was pulled off the Internet. Stupid America and its child pornography rules. Oh yeah, did I mention she was only 17 when the pic was taken? At least some other ones of her making out with another chick are still up. I can’t even imagine what this fox is going to be like in a couple of years when her career fizzles out. That Beauty and the Beast movie she was just in looked horrible. You know she totally fucked the guy who played the Beast with all his makeup on. Girl’s a freak. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

>Taryn Terrell: Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum

Posted: March 10, 2011 by Keith Stone in dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum, Taryn Terrell
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Taryn Terrell was known as Tiffany in the WWF. She was released for getting involved in a domestic violence case with her husband Drew McIntyre but I like to think it was for the best. Now she has more time to show her ass in such classy publications as Playboy’s Big Boobs and Hot Buns. She also dated Carlton from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. At least we know he’s been productive in the past 15 years. It’s not usual. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

>Lanny/Lannie Barby: Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum

Posted: March 2, 2011 by Keith Stone in dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum, Lannie Barby, Lanny Barby
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I felt badly about not knowing how to spell Lanny/Lannie Barby’s name last week so I wanted to make it up to her. Lanny/Lannie has amazing piercing eyes. Lovely. Wait a minute. What am I saying? Look at that ass. Decide how to spell your name, honey. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

>Kate Upton: Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum

Posted: February 19, 2011 by Keith Stone in dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum, Kate Upton
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So when the SI Swimsuit Issue came out this week, there was a lot of heavy breathing, sweating, and overall hallelujahing over pictorials from Brooklyn Decker, Irina Shayk, and their ilk of deliciously-molded beasts. But one NEW creature stood out from the rest and this is Kate Upton. She’s everything you ever want in a woman: a supple, yet firm body with the face of an angel. Intoxicating. Plus, she likes to get freaky on Twitter as evidenced by the picture above. I predict that in two years Kate will be the cover girl and her face/body will be THE face/body. You saw it here first. So to Kate Upton:

DDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

>Rihanna: Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum

Posted: February 15, 2011 by Keith Stone in dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum, Rihanna
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The Grammys Red Carpet show was pretty lame. And then I saw Rihanna. I actually said, “dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum” out loud. It’s like she wearing a dress but it’s also like she’s naked. More girls need to dress like this. You know Rihanna’s really a freak. Chris Brown got a bad rap. She probably made him hit her while she was handcuffed in a leather bondage outfit. Shia used to date her too. Kid knows what’s up. He’s a trendsetter. Knew what was in that dress before the rest of us. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

>Brooklyn Decker: Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum

Posted: February 11, 2011 by Keith Stone in awesome, Brooklyn Decker, dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum
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When I first saw the trailer for Just Go With It, the first thing that popped into my head after “What the fuck happened to Adam Sandler’s career?” was “Who is the chick in the yellow bikini?” It turns out it’s Brooklyn Decker, one of my favorites. I saw more and more trailers and I swear that the movie looked better and better each time. Now, I have Just Go With It as my early favorite for Best Picture for the 2012 Oscars. I blame the yellow bikini. Jen Aniston is nice in her own right but Brooklyn Decker blows her off the screen. Nicole Kidman is apparently in the movie (why?) and she will blown off screen by Brooklyn Decker. Brooklyn Decker is like an unstoppable asteroid but instead of destroying Earth, she destroys other chicks’ self-esteems. Can you imagine Jen sitting on set reading In Touch about how Brad and Angelina adopted another African kid and all of a sudden Brooklyn Decker shows up with those majestic 23-year-old tits? Must’ve been a busy week for Jen Aniston’s shrink. The only bad thing about Brooklyn Decker is that she’s married to that frat boy tennis player Andy Roddick. It’s just like college. Brooklyn Decker is too good for him and she’s too good for only one exclamation. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum! Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

>Siena Miller: Dayyyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuuum

Posted: February 9, 2011 by Keith Stone in dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum, Sienna Miller
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Looks like Sienna Miller broke up with Jude Law again. Check please. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

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