Archive for the ‘dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum’ Category

There are conflicting reports that Ronda Rousey is set to become one of the first ladies to step into the UFC octagon not wearing a bikini and holding a large number over her head. I’m not MMA guy, but I could get into it if Ronda was involved. People talk about women’s tennis being more exciting about men’s tennis and that’s bullshit but women’s MMA sounds awesome. I just want to know what the rules are on hair pulling and wardrobe malfunctions. Dating a chick like Ronda must be fun too. There’d always be that thrill knowing that if you forgot your anniversary she’d put you in a kimura lock. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

Ricki Noel Lander is New England Patriots owner Bob Kraft’s “special lady friend.” Although he was crushed when his wife died last year, Kraft seems to have recovered nicely. Hey, it was only 48 years of marriage. Who would think that the 71-year-old Kraft would be banging a hotter chick than Tom Brady? Again, it’s nice to own a football team. Bob and Ricki Noel (classy name) recently went viral with a video that showed the two rehearsing for Ricki’s audition for an upcoming Vince Vaughn/Owen Wilson movie that is not apparently Wedding Crashers II and it is hilarious. Did I mention that she was in a bikini? Also, that he’s 71 and she’s 32? And that his wife just died? Man, losing Super Bowl XLVI must’ve really sent the old guy off the deep end. Good for Ricki, though. She’s going to have great seats next season. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

With Men In Black III released into the wild, it’s officially the start of summer movie season. That means a lot of crappy comic book movies, uninspired concepts, and unnecessary sequels (and The Dark Knight Rises). However, there’s one film in our future that looks to buck the trend. Spring Breakers is a refreshing look at the travails of a coterie of, shall we say, skanks who embark on the adventure of a lifetime. It originally caught my eye because that’s usually what happens when I see four hot chicks in bikinis posing together. But no one stood hotter than Ashley Benson. If she can act as well as she looks half-naked, she has several Oscars in her future. And if not, she can always join the MKS at the beach. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

It’s finally May, so what better way to celebrate than with May Andersen, the Danish model that looks very good in a bikini. In my extensive research, I have discovered that May rarely wears anything besides a bikini, which really is the way it should be. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

I’m not sure anyone anyone just utterly destroyed a song like Jessica Pare did last night on Mad Men. As Don’s new wife, Megan, the highlight of the surprise birthday party she threw for him was unquestionably this sexy rendition of Zou Bisou Bisou. Now I know why French guys are so horny all the time. But wait……..there’s more! Like 20 minutes later, she’s cleaning the carpet in a black bra and panties and having hateful sex on the floor. It was like Johnny Vander Meer throwing no-hitters in back-to-back games and it was only the first episode. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

The Hunger Games is going to dominate the weekend, so here’s Jennifer Lawrence who plays some sort of character in the movie. I’m not going to pretend to know anything about it, but how could she not win the Hunger Games? You got some hot chick with huge cans fighting to the death with 14-year-old boys. Let me tell you something. Those kids are going to die with smiles on their faces. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

In honor of St. Patty’s Day, here’s Georgia Salpa or as she’s known, the Irish Kim Kardashian. I thought Irish chicks were supposed to be redheads with pale skin and a ton of freckles, but this sure goes to show why the world is better when you don’t stereotype people. The only thing that would bother me is the accent. The Irish accent is not sexy. I’d probably just start giggling every time she started talking and ask if she wanted to see my lucky charm. Still, it would be the top o’ the morning if she was on top o’ me in the morning. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

I’ve never seen the show A Legal Mind but whenever I see the posters in the subway, I always perk up because Sarah Shahi is so hot in them. Does she even know what tort law is? I don’t care but I’d love to contort her over a conference table. The smart girls in power suits always do it for me. I’d like to think of her as a real lawyer, studying case law topless deep into the night. How could anyone hate a lawyer with an ass like that? Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

When I saw these pictures of Lil’ Kim, I had to Google her to make sure she didn’t always look like somebody RuPaul would think was over-the-top. After some very stimulating research, my memory did serve me correct. Lil’ Kim was indeed very hot once. These days, she may be stuck doing trashy reality shows and feuding with Nicki Minaj for stealing her act, but I don’t ever remember Nicki oozing sex like Kim does. The poster of her squating is like the Farah Fawcett red bikini poster for ghetto white kids. Kim will always be our head BIC. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

So what if she couldn’t remember her lines on SNL, Lindsay Lohan was still funnier than Andy Samberg and most importantly, she was looking fine. Like a boxer with a knockout punch, any chick with cans like Lindsay always has a fighting shot. It doesn’t matter how many times she makes a fool out of herself or goes to jail. I also liked the fact that she was willing to make light of situation. This sketch was especally funny, despite the obvious cue card reading. Couldn’t they have shot it from a better camera angle? Don’t worry, Linds, I’m on your side. She likes dudes again, right? Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!