Archive for the ‘dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum’ Category

I’ve never seen the show A Legal Mind but whenever I see the posters in the subway, I always perk up because Sarah Shahi is so hot in them. Does she even know what tort law is? I don’t care but I’d love to contort her over a conference table. The smart girls in power suits always do it for me. I’d like to think of her as a real lawyer, studying case law topless deep into the night. How could anyone hate a lawyer with an ass like that? Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

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When I saw these pictures of Lil’ Kim, I had to Google her to make sure she didn’t always look like somebody RuPaul would think was over-the-top. After some very stimulating research, my memory did serve me correct. Lil’ Kim was indeed very hot once. These days, she may be stuck doing trashy reality shows and feuding with Nicki Minaj for stealing her act, but I don’t ever remember Nicki oozing sex like Kim does. The poster of her squating is like the Farah Fawcett red bikini poster for ghetto white kids. Kim will always be our head BIC. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

So what if she couldn’t remember her lines on SNL, Lindsay Lohan was still funnier than Andy Samberg and most importantly, she was looking fine. Like a boxer with a knockout punch, any chick with cans like Lindsay always has a fighting shot. It doesn’t matter how many times she makes a fool out of herself or goes to jail. I also liked the fact that she was willing to make light of situation. This sketch was especally funny, despite the obvious cue card reading. Couldn’t they have shot it from a better camera angle? Don’t worry, Linds, I’m on your side. She likes dudes again, right? Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

Leslie Bibb is starring in the new ABC show GCB. It looks terrible (well, unless you’re a chick) but Leslie can be my good Christian bitch any Sunday she wants. It’s not possible to get through Mass without coveting that ass. I’m breaking like three Commandments just looking at her. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

Micaela Schaefer is a model/DJ who looks absolutely fantastic when she’s spinning tunes. Seriously, how hard is it to be a DJ? If a half-naked chick or Macaulay Culkin’s corpse can do it, so could I. I’d just plug in my iPod and bang out hip hop and 80’s songs all night. Micaela could help of course. I wouldn’t mind falling into a k-hole with her and never coming out. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

The world lost an angel last week. No, not Whitney Houston. Kylie Bisutti hung up her wings and quit Victoria’s Secret to spend more time with her husband. If making your wife quit a life of standing and walking for millions of dollars isn’t love, I don’t know what is. Kylie also wanted to set a better example for young girls and show the world that just because you’re a sex bomb doesn’t mean you should stand around in lingerie all the time. Let’s just hope that the girls she’s trying to influence are too busy watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians to notice. Bye, Kylie. Props for leaving on top. See you in a few years after the divorce. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

It’s like Brandon Jacobs said, Gisele needs to shut up and look cute. It doesn’t matter what your husband does. You don’t criticize his co-workers, much less if it’s at a public setting like the Super Bowl. People in Boston are starting to turn on Horse Face and I don’t blame them. No Titles since the Golden Boy got Leo DiCaprio’s leftovers. Thanks. Dayyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuum!