Archive for the ‘Phillies’ Category

Hope Everyone Had A Good Holiday Weekend

Posted: October 11, 2011 by Keith Stone in Dream Team, Phillies, Philly sucks

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Philly’s Got Talent

Posted: September 13, 2011 by Keith Stone in baseball, MLB, Phillies, Philly sucks


“Don’t stop. This is Philly. Put your bats up.”

Young man JGarzzle, also known as Big Philly Fan, is pretty excited about the Phillies, who have the best record in baseball as well as in their franchise’s history. Who wouldn’t? They have four three two dominant pitchers and the tradition of two World Championships over the last 100 years.

What better way to celebrate than making a music video to Jennifer Lopez’s On the Floor? Because really when I think of the Fightin’s, I think of lame dance songs about hooking up with dudes at the club. I also like the fact that JGarzzle made the video despite the fact that it seems that his parents were sleeping in the next room. The whisper is sexy. I haven’t seen this much swag coming out of Philadelphia since Will Smith.

You Stay Classy, Philadelphia

Posted: June 19, 2011 by Keith Stone in Eagles, LeSean McCoy, Phillies, Philly sucks

It was another banner week for Philadelphia. The Phillie Phanatic tried to get this young lady to flash the crowd. When she didn’t, he put his snout down her throat. That’s assault, brotha. Apparently, it’s also the go-to move for guys in the Philadelphia area. Just watch what hole you put it in. Right, Kobe?

Then, Eagles running back LeSean McCoy decided to give his input on the Osi Umenyiora deposition. Of Osi, he tweeted, “Overrated n soft 3rd best d-line on his team honestly.” First of all, great grammar. Secondly, mind your own fucking business. If anything, hopefully this gets Osi in the mood to crush some Eagles next season (in a Giants uniform of course).

Luckily for us, some intrepid Asians summed everything up in a completely factual way that even a peon from Philadelphia could understand. That’s what they think of you in Asia, Philadelphia. Fat guys who vomit everywhere. And they’re right.

Deadspin; ESPN

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When I heard that a robot was going to throw out the first pitch at a baseball game, I thought it was pretty cool. I assumed it was one of those crazy Japanese robots that can walk and fall in love and stuff. Then, I found out it was going to throw out the first pitch at a Phillies game and was named PhillieBot. My hopes were considerably lowered. PhillieBot turned out to basically be a catapault, which would have been cool if this was the Dark Ages. Somebody should have told the dorks at UPenn. It couldn’t even reach the plate. This seriously may have been the lamest thing I’ve ever seen besides all the Eagles fans who think their team is going to win the Super Bowl every year. Still better than Carl Lewis though. At least we know robots won’t be taking over the world for a while.