Posts Tagged ‘spring training’

Jonathan Papelbon Compares Trash To Garbage

Posted: March 8, 2012 by Keith Stone in baseball, MLB
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New Phillies closer and still douchebag Jonathan Papelbon went on the radio in Philadelphia today to talk about the transition to his new team from the Red Sox. Papelbon described Philly fans by saying they “tend to know the game a little better” although Boston was “a bit more hysterical.” Talk about a low blow for Boston. Saying that Philly is smarter than you is like telling a chick Snooki is cuter than her.

Really, though, are Philly and Boston fans really that much different? The Phanactics are a bunch of degenerates, and the Beaneaters are a bunch of toolish frontrunners. It’s the equivalent of picking the smartest kid in the Special Olympics or Matthew McConaughey’s best movie.

My favorite subplot in all of this is yet another former Red Sox taking a shit on the team after leaving. Wasn’t Pap Smear supposed to be the ultimate Red Sox? Brash, confident, asshole. Then, the Sox make an underwhelming contract offer and he can’t wait to spew venom. What a class act. He’s going to be a perfect fit in Philadelphia.

However, it’s becoming more and more clear that nobody likes playing in Boston. It’s going to take a lot more than throwing money around, banning beer, or bringing in a clown as manager to fix the problem. In baseball, chemistry shouldn’t matter but it does. Say what you want about Joe Girardi’s antics from the motivational quotes to the team improv outing but at least he’s working to get his players to like each other. That goes a long way during the dog days and is a hell of a lot better than fried chicken.

ESPN

How’s A.J. Burnett Working For Ya, Pittsburgh?

Posted: March 1, 2012 by Keith Stone in baseball, MLB
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Oh, A.J., I am so glad you’re not on my team anymore. See you in 2-3 months. Gotta watch out for that BP in the National League.

Bobby V Needs To Know His Role

Posted: February 28, 2012 by Keith Stone in baseball, MLB
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Bobby Valentine came out firing shots at the Yankees today, namely at Derek Jeter’s flip play and A-Rod eating Jason Veritek’s glove in 2004. Forget about Veritek. Alex got bitched up that day, but you cannot downplay the significance of the Flip. Discussing the play, Bobby V said, “We’ll never practice that. I think [Jeter] was out of position and the ball gets [Giambi] out if [Jeter] doesn’t touch it, personally.”

I get that all he’s trying to do do is stir up shit but nobody, noooooooooooooooooooooobody, can downplay how important and clutch that moment was. It’s one of the greatest defensive plays in baseball history, not only because Jeter had the presence of mind to be in that spot but because he was physically able to catch and flip the ball so quickly. Did I mention that it was during the seventh inning of a 1-0 elimination game on the road right after New York was hit by the 9/11 attacks? How many players have the balls to do what Jeter did? And Bobby V is just plain wrong. There’s no way the ball gets there otherwise. Shane Spencer made a horrendous throw. Even Ramon Hernandez, who was in the on-deck circle said, “If Jeter doesn’t catch the ball, the ball hits me, that’s how far off the mark it was. Jeter made an unbelievable, heads-up play. Then he makes a great throw to boot. Unbelievable. The play saved them.”

I used to like Bobby V on the Mets. It was cute, the whole thing with the mustache, but this isn’t Queens anymore. The Red Sox finished last season in the most pathetic way imaginable, both on and off the field. You know what you do when you get smacked up? You shut up and you play. You don’t take unprovoked, inaccurate cheap shots about iconic moments that happened 10 years ago. What’s next? Is he going to say Babe Ruth didn’t call his shot? Last time I checked the Captain had 5 rings and Bobby V had none. Worry about beating the Devil Rays and Blue Jays, Bobby. Chill and have a drink. Oh wait, I forgot…

ESPN

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